I’m going to try to keep this short and sweet. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years. Recently I befriended someone who went to the same high school as me, we never knew each other in school though. When she found out my boyfriend and I were having issues, she said “I didn’t want to bring this up cause it was so long ago and I don’t like being in people’s business, but my friend told me five years ago she was sleeping with him.”
I automatically tell her to contact her for me as they still occasionally talk. The girl backed up everything and said she had no proof but that he would sneak her in through the back window and told us where the house was. My boyfriend lived with his friend at that time, so the locations matched. It was weird because I basically lived there as well, unless she was coming over the 2-3 days a week I wasn’t staying the night. She also weirdly mentioned how good he was in bed which was SO bizarre. Like why would you say that?
Basically I have deeply rooted trust issues, and I can’t get over this. Obviously my boyfriend denied this. But it freaks me out that she would tell my friend that when it happened and then reinforce it 5 years later. Why would she keep such a long lie going?
But then, she did also lie about not knowing we were together at the time, so she is a liar. There was also an issue where I let my insecurity get the best of me around the time she states they were together and went through his phone and found nothing. So there is no proof but her word, but. I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s my gut feeling or anxiety that’s making me feel bad about this.
Any advice on how I can proceed?
tl;dr girl claimed she slept with my boyfriend multiple times 5 years ago – has basically no proof but i’m still anxious
5 comments
You’re better off not paying attention to malicious wagging tongues. It makes nothing but trouble.
>But then, she did also lie about not knowing we were together at the time, so she is a liar.
Then its pretty hard to take this seriously. It doesnt mean she’s lying about everything….but it does give you pause because you know she’s capable of bullshitting.
And while it is painful to think about….your BF is a much different person than he was 5 years ago. You’ve been together for 6 years and I assume its been great. I think the important part is that you’ve both grown together and built something powerful. So while this new information is pretty jarring….it was 5 years ago.
I mean… I’m fairly skeptical of her claims and how out of the blue it is…
Finding out where the house is, probably wouldn’t be that hard, if the friend still lives there or they knew about them.
I mean… I could honestly be completely wrong, but taking the facts given so far… I wouldn’t say it’s too far of a stretch that they’re trying to get you to break up with him, so they could have a shot at him.
At this point, it’s a he-said she-said situation, and you have to pick a side… Do you force him to prove his innocence? Do you believe the girls? Do you believe him? Only you know how your relationship was and is.
How likely is it honestly? Is it more likely that one or the other of them are an unrequited crush? Or that this friend has crush on you and saw an opportunity to widen the rift in your relationship?
Sounds like shes full of shit. Or maybe that friend of hers was fucking your bfs friend. Theres no way she doesn’t have proof if they were supposedly fucking on the off days you werent at the place. No call records no texts? Ask through what medium they communicated. If through texting or calling she can always pull up her records from her carrier. If from discord/facebook/etc why would she delete those messages. Doesnt add up logically if she cant produce any proof of literally anything.
If you really want, you can ask your bf to get his text and call history from his carrier. Most carriers should have a back log of it. He should be willing to do it to assuage your mind, but just know if he does it and you find nothing, you’ll damage the trust between you two a bit.