how to know my date is great for me or not?

* how to know is my date great for me or not* sorry hehe

Hi ! I’m a 24yo female ( sorry for my english)and i start dating guys online for the first time.I want a serious relationship.

I met a guy on app , first we talk well. He complimented me right from the start but i guess this is how seduction work.

We both like history , he is very polite and sensitive and i find him mature at first (23yo for him).

He said he want a serious relationship , he need a lot of communication, he need honesty and strust.
That’s great!

So i went to a coffee date with him , he listen to me , i talked about my life , he looked like he care. He always saying that he loves my honesty ( i have this compliment a lot ) , my hair , he found me brave and beautiful.

So i never had that much of positive attention from a young man so i was flattered. But do you think that’s enough ?

On the second date , i don’t found the smart guy i thaugt he was. Talking about money all the time ( in my country It’s a bit taboo but he’s from an other continent). He wanted to know is i have more money than him on the first date …ok and i don’t get every jokes , i think he try to impress me . He was nervous i guess .

He’s always agree with me.

He try to remember every little detail of my life to show me he care ( this morning he told me i hope i enjoy my green tea this morning, because i take this on our first date for example.).

He said beautiful things to me.

I mean, I’m maybe lucky but i scared that he try to look perfect just because he want me .

Sometime in my mind , i think :

“He find me beautiful, I’m not like his ex and my life look intersting to him cause he said the other girl have bad attitudes and they don’t talk on tinder ( to résumé). I seems like an easy choice.”

⚡!! But i only saw him twice and the rest is just texting so i can imagine every thing by messages.!!!! Maybe i overreact and i made a film in my head.!!!!!⚡

He said that my life is interresting and this is the most scary part for me because we talk about my family and my past a bit.
I’m scared that he gonna see me like an entertainment or a magical fairy who’s gonna solves all the problem his ex bring to him wich is a lack of communication in their relation.

I tend to attract guys who admire me very much , see me as a protector , an healer i think.

And when i say no to date them , because I’m not attract or i feel like in a dominant/submissive situation, I’m the total bitch of the situation.

So now i’m afraid It’s gonna be the same story with this boy.

I try my best to heal myself from some trauma and i can’t magically heal others. I can listen, take your hand and be there for you with all my heart and that’s it.
In my family, I’m not allowed to cry. It make my mom inconfortable and when my father passed away my grandma said it was an obligation for me to not cry and be happy. Because my happiness is hers and she’s gonna kill herself if I’m not happy.

So i have to cry in my car alone . Just like a tired mom who cannot cry in front of her kid.

I’m know that I’m pretty positive and strong mentaly, but maybe i need a young man who is emotionnaly
Independent enough, so i can allowed myself to cry sometime , in my house, for change .

Not hiding it because he’s to weak and i have to protect him like he’s my child or because i gonna break this image of the perfect young lady made up in his head.

I’m scared to be a nurse for men. I’m not the charming princess.

I don’t want my future boyfriend to be a medecine either , i just want him to take my hand and bring me a tissue. Just compassion. And i want to take his hand and bring him a tissue when It’s his turn to feel Bad.

Maybe i’m too fucked up so i over react , this guy seem like a good guy and he’s always nice !!

But i’m sooo afraid he’s like the other dude i met in the past.

I don’t have a lot of experience so i feel like i don’t know what i talking about maybe i not mature enough to know it , so i need strangers to help me .

How you know you like him despite of your trauma?

Thanks!!!