Hey all, I wanted to get womens perspectives on this. I know most women prefer to meet up on a first date rather than get picked up, for safety and comfort reasons which I totally get. My question is after the date do you like the guy to walk you to your car or just part ways after leaving?
A date I had a week ago made me curious. We met up to get some food, after eating we left the restaurant and I started walking with her while we talked. She asked where I was parked and I told he I had parked the opposite direction but I was just gonna walk her to her car. She seemed kinda caught off guard by that and I don’t know if it was in a good way or a bad way.
I believe it’s the gentlemanly thing to do, to make sure she gets to her car safely, and to end the date away from the front of the bar/restaurant/etc. where everyone can watch y’all.
So, what do you think? Is it good to do this or is it weird/uncomfortable?
36 comments
How about ask her?
“Would you like me to walk you to your car?”
Then you don’t have to wonder.
Just offer.
– “Can I walk you to your car?”
– “Let me walk you to your car”
If they decline, then they don’t want you to do so. If they accept, then clearly it’s ok. It’s not a one size fits all. You’re not going to get maced for offering. If you do get maced, she was always planning on mugging you, and you asking is completely unrelated
Most women learn to weave their keys into their fingers when they’re walking alone at night before they’re even old enough to have a set of keys. There is always an element of fear to walk alone to your car at night. That said, there is also an element of fear if you are concerned your date might be walking you to your car to get your license plate or to push you into that car and rape you. So….it really depends on the woman and on how she felt about you. If she’s trying to get away from you and not have you have any identifying info about her because she thinks you’ll stalk her….then she’s not going to want you walking her to her car. If she thinks you’re a decent human being then she’ll appreciate the effort and the fact that you actually thought to be polite and offer to walk her to her car. Does that makes sense? We’re not in a constant state of fear but we are constantly aware of potential dangers and need to continuously weigh which situations are safe/safer than others.
It’s not “strange” to pause conversation to ask a polite question like “Hey, I’m enjoying this conversation; I’m parked over there, but can I walk you to your car?”
Think of it this way: some non-zero percentage of people are going to think it’s strange or off-putting for you to walk them to their car without asking. Zero people are going to think it’s strange or off-putting for you to pause the conversation for literal *seconds* to ask. A non-zero percentage of people will appreciate that you asked.
Just ask.
I think it’s nice and would genuinely appreciate it unless I did not enjoy the date. I think if it’s a first date it is good to just ask. Now if my bf and I take separate cars somewhere he walks me to mine then goes to his.
Just ask her nicely “Can I walk you to your car?”
1) If the date went well, she might be hoping for a kiss and of course safety as you accompany her.
2) If the date was meh, but she still feels like she needs protection? She may still have you walk her.
3) If the date was bad, she’ll take her chances, walk herself to her car and decline your offer.
🤷♀️
You don’t need the woman’s perspective just simply because it comes from a woman. What you need is the truth no matter who it comes from.
It depends on how the date went and what they thought of you. By default they don’t want a guy to know what car they drive and the license plate number. Hence they don’t want you to walk them to their car. Which is why they often park where you can’t see their car easily from the establishment you are at, and may come early or late so that you don’t see them pull in.
However if they feel safe (“from you” -vs- “because of you” is a difference) then they might still not want you to walk them to their car. But if they feel “protected” by your presence (safe in that you can protect her, as opposed to being safe from you hurting her yourself), then she may like you walking her to her car.
So it depends on how the date goes and her impression of you. So what do you do? You offer to walk her to her car when you get ready to leave,…and then don’t argue with whatever she replies to that. If she says, “No, that’s Ok. I’m fine” then leave her alone and let her go.
If she is too worried she’ll find another guy (bouncer, security guard) to do it. I’ve walked women to their car when I wasn’t even there with them because I was asked to. Once two of us guys did at the same time and kept her between us and maintained a fast pace because the area was just that bad. Both me and the other guy looked like we’d been to the gym more than a few times so we were fine. And yea, she was a hot chick,…looked like she could be Lauren Southern’s twin.
If the date went well yes and it’s an opportunity to try a kiss. If it went poorly I’d probably say “well I gotta go. Nice seeing you” and leave as quickly as possible so you don’t walk me to my car.
Generally it’s fine.
If the date went well just ask her where she parked and that you’ll walk her to her car. Not a big deal..
I would ask bc yes it’s gentlemanly but women are on high alert all the time!! My first instincts are that it’s risky you could try and force me into my car or now you know what car I have, the walk to the car is scary like I could be attacked by someone but you can also be the attacker.
Asking is nice!!
I think it’s human decency. I just ask the girl if she wants me to walk her back or just “walk”. Then let them decide where to walk after the date.
It’s a common courtesy thing. It’s probably evening and dark outside. Make sure she gets back to wherever she wants to go safely (Obviously don’t be pushy or anything you idiots). But don’t do this stupid “Oh must be im getting a kiss”. I’m a taller dude, so woman literally ask me sometimes to just walk them because they feel safer, do it without any expectations.
Sounds like someone just trying to get her license plate number and vehicle make to stalk her home address then show up to murder he with a pick-axe and burn the place down to dispose of the evidence. My immediate thought when someone wants to walk me to my car.
Such a gentleman ❤️❤️❤️
Personally, I love it when a man is chivalrous like this, but as someone mentioned above, you could always ask first if she would like you to walk her to her car.
good
I thought it was proper etiquette for a man to walk you to your car after a date, but I’ve also learned that some women are not comfortable with that. Guess it varies, but you can always offer and see what they say.
I would preferred to be walked to my car
Always ask. Had a guy insist he would walk me to my car, asked for another date when we were alone and then punched my car when he didn’t get the answer he wanted.
From my own experience, if a guy isn’t offering to walk me to my car after a date, it’s a red flag.
I’m so for being independent, but I think at least offering is the courteous thing to do.
I ask if she would like me to, and then do it. I ask as a guy, because women are wildly different.
You have to ask, always. It depends on her comfort level whether that’s appealing or terrifying. “May I walk you to your car” might be the difference between a second date and a ghost. Asking the question is the gentlemanly thing to do. Assuming your assessment of gentlemanly and hers are the same could come off as controlling/creepy. Even in the most formal setting, proper etiquette is to ask IE “may I have this dance?”
I always do. You don’t have to walk her all the way but at the very least enough to see that she’s off safely. It’s polite and demonstrates other qualities.
So, 2 part answer
1. You should prob ask
2. In the talking before the date and on the date, your character should come through, and certain things about you, in my opinion should kind of be made aware. In the sense that if you’re the type of guy who was raised to do X.
Worse comes to worse just say, I’ll just walk you to your car if that’s okay with you.
I think you’re overthinking it man.
Ask, and they they say yes/no, proceed accordingly.
This type of overthinking is why people have so much trouble dating.
the other person will tell you what they want… take them at their word. It’s really not more complicated than that. Stop trying to find a deeper meaning than the exact words they tell you lmao
The “gentlemanly thing to do” is to fucking *listen* to your date.
You aren’t the guy who tried to order for his date and INSISTED on walking her to her car even when she said you didn’t need to?
Yes definetly alot of women want that special treatment.
The only kind of women that does not like this, are stuck up bitchy. And you don’t want those anyway.
My now-fiancée told me I couldn’t walk her to her car on our first date 😂
I always walk them back or at least offer.
Maybe she just didnt expect you to walk her to her car? It may feel like you were pushing the date to end
Ok now Im wondering…. what could a random person do with your license plate number?
🥴😁🥰
Yes. You did great and you were raised right.
For modern young girls, 4 possible thoughts could have popped into her head:
1. Does he need a ride?
2. He might rape me.
3. Is he trying to profile me and get my license plate? Stalker/creepy vibes.
4. He is giving me the feeling I can’t go out in public alone without an entourage or body guard. This encourages her to be nervous.
There would have to be a break in the conversation at some point if you were going to go your separate ways. So when the break comes where you would be telling her you have to go a different way to go to your own car, instead ask if you can walk her to her car. Like “oh I parked this way, would you mind if I walk you to your car?” Or “where are you parked? I can walk you to your car if you want.”
I appreciate when a guy walks me to my car at the end of the date (or even a guy friend -or any friend- after we hang out). I think it shows you care about the other person.
Probably, it’d be best if you asked before or even better stated what you want to do. If you ask like “do you want me to walk you to your car?”, one (like I’d do) could think you do it reluctantly or just because you have to. But I’d love for a guy to say something along the lines of “I really want to walk you to your car, is it OK?”.
Anyway, if you don’t want/can’t ask before, just do it. If she felt so uncomfortable during the date she doesn’t want you to walk her to her car, she would have found a reason to leave the date. Plus, just keep safe distance.
P.s.: Don’t know if everyone does this, but it’s common behaviour in my girl friends group, so it could be usefull info.
If I really like the guy I’m on a date with and he walks me to my car and his car is further away, I always offer to drive him to his car. If he accepts, i use this time to start some sort of conversation. So far, this has led to many hours spent having some of the best conversations in my life in dark parking lots and making deep connections with my dates. So, guys, always accept a ride (if you like us)!
I always do it. It’s the right thing to do, just like paying for the first date.
Maybe she was taken aback because no one had done it before. I had that happen once and she said later that was nice of me.
I had a 1st date last week, came out of the restaurant, it was already the end of the night, I said “I’ll walk you to your car”.
Walked to the car, stopped about 10ft away from the car, hug and a peck on the cheek and I stepped back, waited until she got the engine started and I wandered back to my car. (2nd date on Friday 😁).
Yeah it is a gentlemanly thing to do….you should offer to get her to her car safely. However, be ok with it if she declines as you are practically strangers so she may not feel safe with you yet.