How can I move on from an ex and should I not text him?

My exbf (I’ll call him X) of 1 1/2 years treated me really poorly so I broke up with him over text cuz he didn’t care. We got back together after a month and one of his closest friend’s (J) became my friend because I was helping him out with homework. J and I hung out one time at a viewpoint until 2am and my ex who I was still dating at the time got mad at both of us. It was fine after that.

When I hung out with J when me and X were still dating, he said he would support me and still be my friend if me and X broke up. We started hanging out more without X knowing after I blocked and ghosted him.

J gave me updates on X about how he had sex with a female friend and at first it bothered me but I’m over it now. And apparently X is not over me by the way he talks about me and how he suggested throwing glass bottles at my house. Doesn’t make sense to me how u would want to do that if ur not over ur ex. Like wouldn’t u show up with flowers or something instead.

Later down the line, I told J I have feelings for him and we started dating. He said he had a moral dilemma cuz I’m his friends ex but he decided to date me because he liked me and X treated me like shit.

One time, J was parked outside my house and X purposely drove by my house and saw J’s car. Me and J came up with an excuse about how our mutual friend K forgot her jacket in my car which is why he went with her to pick it up. To distract X from the logistics of it, J messaged X first and made up something about how I was talking shit about X.

J knows I was upset that we had to keep our relationship a secret and J just broke up with me and said that he enjoyed the time we spent together but the circumstances just don’t work and maybe if they change we can try again. He said he felt that way since X saw his car and he doesn’t wanna lead me on any further. I said if they don’t work out now I don’t see how it would in the future. And I said I understand and respect his decision. He said he thought it could work out long term in the beginning but not anymore. I just left after that and said imma go so we didn’t talk about the possibility of still being friends.

I also don’t know if I should message our mutual friend K about it because she’s a lot closer to J than I ever was. And i don’t think she would but idk if she would tell J about me messaging her.

The way I see it J wasn’t willing to drop his friend. Not even for the sake of our relationship but because X is a shitty person. If he really wanted us to work out, he would have made it work out.

I feel like there’s not much I can do but any tips on how I can look at the situation and what I can do to focus on myself would be very helpful. Thank you!

TL;DR want advice on how to move on from ex boyfriend and if I should reach out to him in a week or two asking to be friends again