She says she likes seeing me. I feel like redirecting my energy and seeing her very very rarely, as a friend. I did give her some very thoughtful presents and I’m worried about her having them in her apartment, seeing them and serving as a reminder of the attention. I have this thing when people who reject me start liking me when I stop liking them. It’s happened to me several times. I’m worried that she might change her mind and it doesn’t help me to move on. Also I’m worried she might feel hurt if I stop giving her attention. This is so illogical because she is actually very flaky and probably not even the best choice for me anyway. Please tell me it’s okay to stop caring for her as much as I did!
tldr I’m trying to persuade myself that it’s okay to stop lavishing my ex crush with attention and presents, please help me
11 comments
It’s 100% okay to stop treating her like a crush and just as a friend. It would make no sense and cause you a lot of stress to try and keep treating her like you did before since you know the crush isn’t mutual
> I’m worried about her having them in her apartment, seeing them and serving as a reminder of the attention
Are you a mind reader?
First and foremost you don’t owe her anything. If you want to leave you can just leave. That’s it.
Secondly this is a good move. She’s just stringing you along and keeping you as a back up.
Time you started looking elsewhere.
Why do you feel that you owe other people your time and attention but your own needs are not important?
Um… not only is it ok, it would be ideal and recommended lol.
Just stop.
If she DOES suddenly develop romantic feelings, then guess what? She needs to play catch up and start showing you how much she likes you and put in the same effort you did for her.
And boohoo if she feels hurt that you are no longer simping her. *Oh well*. That’s a her problem and if she gets hurt, then she needs to learn from it.
YOU, my dear, need to know who is worth your valuable investments. This shouldn’t be a big thing to get over her. Unless someone reciprocates, you need to put a limit on how much investment you are willing to put into them emotionally. So when you have a crush, by all means show them you care, but don’t put any more then they give you.
You’ll crash into someone that returns your investment.
The key is to not waste time to much time on people that don’t.
You owe her absolutely nothing, especially attention and presents.
Bruh. She rejected u. Don’t give her presents. Do u give presents to ur guy friends like that?
If ur just friends then treat her like all ur other friends.
Hey OP, best advice I can give is stop giving her your attention immediately. Your attention and time are valuable resources. Most women will always chase the guy who DOESN’T give them their time and attention, leaving you in the cold. I had to learn this the hard way as well. If you ever want to capture this girls attention, or any other, do the opposite of what you’ve been doing. Showering them with attention and gifts is actually not the answer. Even though, that’s what we learned from Disney movies growing up. Hope that helps. You have to be at a point where you do not care whether or not she likes you, etc. She could come or go it doesn’t matter. That type of confidence will be attractive to her and your lack of attention will drive her crazy. Sounds like your efforts are wasted her. Find a good girl who will pay attention to you too.
It’s okay to stop lavishing your ex crush
She will not change her mind. You are disrespecting her feelings and decisions by not taking her decisions and feelings seriously. If you like someone then you have to actually listen to them.