We’ve just been going out for a couple of months. When we started going out, we each did stuff we liked, and our relationship with each other made that stuff more fun. That was great.
I think now my GF is fine with just \*being\* in the relationship though? Like just sitting next to each other she’s completely happy with things. That sounds nice, but I feel like we’re hanging out *because* we’re in a relationship. It should be the other way around right? We do things we want to do, and the fact that we’re in a relationship makes those things better?
I would suggest things to do, but I don’t want to feel like we’re just doing things I like. That’s so different from how we started. I want her to show her interests and for us to vibe because we both like these things. Bringing this up feels unnatural because it’s like I’m asking her to change though? idk
Tl;dr: GF is not showing her interests. Seems like she’s just happy being in the relationship. I feel like it should be more like we’re doing whatever we want, and those things are better because we get along well. We’re just not vibing as well.
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i think you have a very different outlook on a relationship than others, which isn’t a bad thing, but let me just share with you my perspective which may be the same perspective your girlfriend has: for me a relationship is where you’re with the person who can make anything fun, and whom you’re content and happy with doing everything and anything with, like even the example you gave, of just simply sitting next to each other. you don’t always have to do something, or be at something, to enjoy your time with the right person. even normally “boring” things should be fun and enjoyable if you’re with the right person. that being said, you definitely do have to go out every once in awhile, like on dates and stuff just to switch it up, but it shouldn’t be something you guys CONSTANTLY need to keep the spark there. but my overall advice would be to try to shift your perspective a little, and DEFINITELY talk to her about it, communication is key in a relationship. hope this helped 🙂
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Dating is a trial period. You date for a while, and then you realize why you shouldn’t date and then you stop dating.
I think you might be at the “stop dating” point. It’s fine, you know? I trust you to do the right thing and then go on to have even more boring experiences until you find the good one.
She isn’t the one for you and that’s okay. Different people do relationships differently.
I’m more active than my partner. I’ve found that instead of asking him, “Do you want to go for a hike this weekend?” and then listen to him hem and haw about it, I just say, “me and the dog are going for a hike this weekend, we’d love your company” and he usually joins in. So either way I get my hike, and if he joins I know it’s because he actually wants to instead of feeling obligated.
Has she said she doesn’t want to do anything else? Maybe she feels the same as you but doesn’t want to bring it up? Or maybe she is happy with just being home together. It’s winter here a lot of what you do is just chill at home and veg with each other in all honesty. Like here right now he’ll read and I’ll do social media and we’ll randomly show each other things that are interesting, or watch tv or whatever. And it’s nice because it’s your person and you can talk about what you’re doing.
If you’d like to be doing more ask her out to do something. Not sure what your things that make you happy are but she’ll likely be happy to be invited to do something. Take that initiative. You could always say lets do this today then Thursday or whenever you pick something for us to do that you’d like to do.
I feel like you’re putting all the responsibility on her to come up with fun activities. My husband is content just staying home and doing nothing but I get restless. He’s amenable to doing whatever I want, so I plan activities. I take him on walks, buy theater tickets, find new places to visit in the city, organize outings with friends. I do 90% of this and ask my husband to do 10% ( I prefer this split). So if you’re bored, do something. Be the planner/organizer. It’s not on her to be interesting. Interesting people have an interesting time. They don’t wait for others.