I (24f) have struggled with insecurities about looks all my life. This obviously affected my sex life (I used to hide my face during the act, for example).
Recently I have started to get better. Now I have a better relationship with my own body and I think I am ready to stop holding back when I sleep with my boyfriend. I have made some advances in this matter (Last week I finally let my bf give me oral after years together) and my boyfriend has said that nothing would be sexier than me being 100% confident in bed.
Thing is, I feel like I can’t. I mean, he knows how I was before and that me being confident in bed is something new and not totally developed. I am afraid of him thinking I’m full of shit and that he could never forget how pathetic I was before.
TLDR: Whenever I try to act/feel more confident when in bed with my boyfriend I feel like it’s all fake and that he will only perceive me in the way I was before
1 comment
Even if your confidence is “fake” there’s a reason the phrase *fake it ’til you make it* is so popular. For many people, confidence is something you have to practice having until you actually develop it. It only *looks* effortless. So try not to look at it as “faking confidence” but more like “practicing confidence.”
You’ve been with your boyfriend for years! Remember that. As much as he’s seen you at your lows, you’ve seen him at his. When you look at him, do you see all his mistakes? Do you see all his problems and insecurities? No. You may still *know* about them, you may even still have *memories* that involve them — but that’s not who he is and that’s not what you see.
Give your boyfriend a little more credit. Trust that he’s seeing you, as you are, right then in the moment. Not who you were before.