I’ve been with this girl for about a month now. Everything has been great. She had something urgent come up and let me know she wouldn’t be on her phone much during the weekend. I was understanding and told her to let me know if she needed anything and to have a great weekend. I got a pretty typical response.
On Monday I asked her how her weekend went. She replied on Tuesday saying it was a bit rough and that she had to sort some stuff out that day. Again I was understanding seems pretty normal.
The next day I asked her how her day was saying that I hoped it was a bit better. She responded pretty normal saying it was still a bit chaotic. I replied the next day in the morning being sympathetic as her week has been pretty harsh.
I got no response which is fine, doesn’t really warrant a response. The next day I check on her before I go to work because I’m genuinely concerned because she had a pretty rough week. No response throughout the weekend.
On Monday I see what she is up to and if she would like to go out sometime during the week as we haven’t seen each other in a bit over a week whenever she has time. She responds later that night apologizing and saying that things are super hard for her right now as she is dealing with the same stuff and doesn’t have much time but she would let me know. I was understanding and told her whenever she is free is fine no rush. I figured I would give her space so she can handle what she is dealing with.
I texted her Thursday asking how she is and if she needs anything trying to be supportive. It’s Friday and no response.
I am concerned that maybe she is trying to push me away because I had a similar experience in the past. At the same time her reasons and apologies seem legitimate.
I decided for my sake to ask her if we’re okay but I’m not sure how to do it because it may very well be that the stuff she is dealing with as a family member is terminally I’ll. I don’t want to sound like an asshole but I also can’t help but feel like she is pushing me away. How do I ask her about it?
4 comments
You have only been together one month, maybe she doesn’t feel like it’s something she wants to share the details with you right now
It sounds like she’s got something unresolved happening and the relationship isn’t feeling to her like a place to turn to. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think you’d be better off just walking away. If she wanted to engage and answer she would make time for it, but she’s probably just non-confrontational so afraid to just speak to you directly and express that it’s over for her. It’s not the way people prefer things to end, but it happens a lot of the time. Luckily it’s only been a month, but then again with all this it sounds like only a couple actual weeks and then a bunch of nothing.
This is tough because she might genuinely be going through, or she could be trying to do the slow fizzle.
Maybe send a message along the lines of “I know you said things are hard right now and I just wanna support you in the best way possible. I’d love to hang out or talk about it if that would help, but if you want space I understand. I don’t want to overwhelm you when you’re going through things, but I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t an issue between to the two of us as well. “
I was engaged with my 7 years gf when her father died. She became mean and she broke. At this point I had no love left. She tried to get back when I met my next gf. . This actually made us allies against her. We are still partner after all this years.