I have a long history of having been unfaithful, being a piece of shit to past partners. I acknowledge it. I worked on myself for so many years. I improved so much. Prior to her (34/f), I had been in at least three relationships where women really wanted to spend their lives with me, but I couldn’t bring myself to commit as much. I’m an old fart, I realize it, I realize I’ve just been behind the curve my whole life. But I thought I had finally met my match last April, when I met someone, against all odds, that stole my heart. I don’t understand how she did it, but she did. I was so loyal and dedicated to her. I was as loyal as I could be. I was always honest about everything. I gave her my all. And still, it wasn’t enough and she dumped me after seven months. How can this be? And yet I ran back to her, I begged for her, I did all I could do, I pledged to do everything within my power to be with her, and it wasn’t enough. I’d have given her the world. Despite so much relationship experience under my belt, I still don’t know how I’m supposed to move on, how I’m supposed to be strong. I built a huge fortress around me in the past few years, I let her in, and she completely and totally obliterated me, my self confidence, everything I had worked so hard for. What do I do? I’ve been at such a loss, I’ve messed countless women, friends, and I don’t know how to I’m supposed to cope. I’ve just wanted to hang myself. What’s the point in living if you spent your whole life improving and the woman you finally think you can be with for life just throws you out like you’re a piece of shit?
**tl;dr**: How do I heal after such a heartbreaking breakup where I gave it my all?
4 comments
You block her on your phone.
You sweep up the pile of broken glass and shape it into a stained glass window.
go back to living your best life. It really does not matter. She is gone. Its time to soar.
It sounds like you are experiencing karma. Lives can always continue to improve. You will meet someone else and you will feel interested in them again. In my life, I have met many people and when there was a loss of the relationship, I felt I’d never feel the same about another, and then I did, over and over. You will be ok
Go to the doctor and tell them you’re thinking about ending your life. Therapy and meds CAN help.
Apart from that, it will just suck. For a long time. Then it will suck less, slowly. Then one day you’ll realise you haven’t thought about her at all. Then eventually you’ll have the same feelings for someone else, even though you swore that was impossible. I know because billions of humans have been through the same thing you’re going through, and did get through it. It sucks until one day it doesn’t anymore. Put on some songs about heartbreak, cry, wallow. I’m partial to Romeo and Juliet (dire straits) and somebody that I used to know (Elliott smith). Slowly wallow less and less and start investing in yourself and your life again. Exercise. You’ll get through it.
Consider that this is likely how at least one of your exes felt when you cheated on them. They got through it and you can too.