Title says it all. I’m moving out of my roommate and I’s townhouse this month (we’ve lived together for 3 years). She is my rommate , but we’ve also been absolute bestfriends since 15 years old. I was super sad about leaving and asked if she wanted to move with me (we live about an hour away from X city, and her job is 5 min from my job in X city, so we both commute around 2 hours round trip to work). I thought she might be open to moving to the city she works in, but she has a dog that needs lots of space so I understood when she said she will continue commuting because of the dog and the cost of living in X city.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend and during our breakup, he said “well since I probably wont have to see your roommate again, I wanted to let you know what she told me because it’s been on my mind a lot” …. He proceeded to tell me that she was talking loads of shit saying that she would never live with me again, and I need therapy, and she only told me that she doesn’t plan on moving out of the townhouse because she doesn’t want to live with ME. She’s planning on moving eventually, she just lied because she doesn’t want to move in to a new place specifically with me.
I worked for my roommates mom for about a year as well (this was a while ago though) so she also told my ex that her mom said the experience “wasn’t as fond as I remembered” and I was “a disaster” at work and that she would never hire me again ….. even though my current amazing job came to me because one of the employees there recommended me to their parents company.
All in all I’m extremely hurt and heartbroken. I was just going to cut her off completely, but we have had such a wonderful friendship for almost 10 years, so I was wondering if I should confront her about it to try to salvage something .
Any advice is much appreciated!
2 comments
She probably trying to bag your ex. Nasty
I mean – are you a bad roommate? Cause it’s entirely possible that you’re actually not a good person to live with. Lots of people are fine friends but shit roommates and you might be one of them. Granted, she probably should’ve given you that feedback instead of some dude you were dating, but some people are hard to give critical feedback to.
Also consider the reliability of the source – what’re the odds this conversation happened the way he said it did? Is it likely that your roommate had a thing for him and talked crap about you to try to get him to date her instead? Or just generally vented to him? Or is it more likely that he’s just trying to start shit because you’re ending things with him? I don’t know these people, so only you have enough context to know what’s the most likely case here.
Also, you’re in your mid 20s – ghosting or confronting are for teenagers who can’t get themselves together enough to have difficult discussions like adults. Do better. She deserves a reasonable conversation in which to defend herself or to contextualize what’s been said about her. Sit down with her and talk like a grown up who heard something concerning.