I feel like the odd man out when I’m around my family( grandparents, uncles, cousins). They all grew up around each other and I just moved to the same state as them a few years ago. I’m already really awkward and anxious socially, and I have such a hard time feeling comfortable around them. I don’t share a lot of the memories they have together or I feel like the memories I do have are spoiled because I did something stupid. There are a few little kids and the adults know how to talk to them and have a relationship with them but I don’t. I don’t know how to talk to little kids and it feels odd when we’re all interacting with each other. I feel like they don’t really like me and they probably talk about how awkward I am. Something that makes it worse is that I have a strained relationship with my father. These are his family members. He was a neglectful and emotionally abusive dad. He has abused others that I care about, but his family doesn’t know that. I don’t think they know how much it affected me and I feel like it’s part of the reason why I feel so out of place. Because I did not grow up in a loving household, it feels so fucking weird to be around my extended family, who are all very loving people. And they ask about my dad and I don’t know what to say because I don’t want to talk to/about him. I don’t know how to improve my relationships with my family members. I feel like they’ll hate me for not talking to my dad and for just being weird and socially awkward.