I’m a woman and this has been bugging my mind for a long time.
I’ve never been able to be friends with a guy except with the ones that have mostly female friends.
For some reason I tend to make men uncomfortable (it’s painfully obvious) and this has been a thing since I started high-school. If I talked to them they would make a face of disgust or straight up give me an awkward smile and slowly leave.
During my last day at my first job, my only male coworker left before me so he didn’t have to say goodbye along with everyone else.
So, what are some things that some women do that might make you react in ways like this?
I’m not super extroverted, maybe that’s why? Please share!
13 comments
What is the context of the conversation?!
What are you talking about in these conversations woman?!
„So last night I got railed by the entire football team- I collected their semen in a bucket and drank it like a milkshake. So how was your weekend?“
First and foremost, don’t treat other women better/differently than you do men. I mean I’m not saying you should venture far outside of your comfort zone, a lot guys can pick up on stuff like that. So they might be apprehensive, even though it might sort of fall into the norm of the typical happenings of a new friendship or whatever.
A lot of the time cishet guys worry about stepping on toes and giving the wrong impression with the women they are around. As they feel women tend to be quite critical of men they socialize with. A lot of younger women don’t socialize as freely as older women do. I get why, it’s just refreshing when we don’t feel like we have to walk on eggshells all the time.
There’s just a lot of people who are a bit timid when it comes to interacting with other people in a sincere and consistent way. Even though a lot of people talk about all the ideal ways for someone to socialize and all that.
No, being super extroverted would probably not be why.
Are you over sharing? “Had period cramps and then there was like blood everywhere and… Anyway how was your weekend?”
Are you excessively touchy? “Hey come here have a hug, oh you’ve been working out etc”
Do you look like you’d fit into some stereotype? I avoid women with short blue hair for example.
How old are you? Much older or younger than them?
Zero context here to determine ur behavior of why men are avoiding you. There are counless reason to avoid someone so this question doesnt serve much of a purpose.
It can be a multitude of factors, and I’m not sure which one would apply in this case.
If you would like, you can PM me and we can have a video call over the internet and we can see how I react and I can try and be honest with you, maybe that’ll help you find the reason? (the offer will stand if you need some time to think about it or if you change your mind later)
You describe interactions with coworkers here. Many of us don’t mix business and personal. Doing so can be the kiss of death for a career. Also you should probably stop carrying the delusion that most men actually want female friends. Many of us have found that this doesn’t work in real life like in romcoms.
We’re gonna need more context…I mean…do you have any guesses as to what it is that you do that repels men, as you say? And….this is a shot in the dark….are you really short and hyperactive?
You don’t get it. If you’re pretty then 99% of men secretly want to sleep with you. That’s why they are nervous and withdraw.
How can we give any advice if you give zero context.
We don’t know what you do or say.
Everyone is different of course but for me; I grew up around really mean and hateful girls and women and so I was for a long time very suspicious of any girls my own age who talked to me because I was always expecting something bad to happen.
As I have gotten older I have improved but to answer your question, there really isn’t anything you can do because practically every guy knows someone or has been on the receiving end of unwarranteded hostility or even unprovoked violence (like I have) from women for simply being there and were then told to get over it.
While if the roles were reversed all hell would have broken loose. My best advice is just be honest and sincere with people, some will trust you and some will not.
there isn’t a ton of information here. So here are some possible explanations.
They may not find you physically attractive for whatever reason, everyone has different tastes.
And /Or the way you approach them may feel like you are trying too hard, and they think you might be flirting with them rather than just being friendly. And then they pull back because they feel uncomfortable.
there are a number of men out there that aren’t actively looking for “just friends”, so the first place their mind goes is flirting
So for some self reflection, why would men behave this way when YOU approach them? Take a step back and read the room on that one.
Not sure, as others already have pointed out there isn’t a lot context here, but here are things that make me uncomfortable.
1. Violating my personal space (I have sever issues with this), I have a bit of a troubled past and when people come to close I prepare for the worst. This is a big issue when traveling since they don’t have the same standards for personal space in let’s say Greece that we have here in Sweden.
2. Sexual comments, just don’t go there while working, I’m not interested in people’s personal life/sex life. I don’t want to get in trouble ether.
3. The risks involved as it stands, one false and baseless accusation is all it takes to ruin a man’s life, I have seen it. It is to the point where I refuse let “new”/“unknown” women in to my life. A professional “relationship” will be strictly just that.