How do you get over fear of being boring on date?

23 comments

1. Becoming less boring

2. Alcohol. Since quitting drinking, this is one thing ive worried about. But i havent had a date yet so havent seen how it goes.

3. Just be who you are. You don’t want to be with someone who finds you boring.

   Also, the secret is to get them to talk. 😉

   Ask them good questions.

4. I fully embrace my boringness. If my date doesn’t embrace it as well, then we are not a good match, are we?

5. Do you think you’re boring already?

6. After a quick glance at your profile I understand you’re a lonely dude and that’s ok.

   To answer your question, the best way to avoid being boring on a date is to not overthink it. I’m sure you’re a pleasant guy so don’t go out of your way to appear better than you already are. Everything else will come naturally.

7. You are not a clown, it is not your duty or job to “entertain” her. If the vibes are there you 2 will click and have fun just by being together. Let him/her pull her own weight

8. You’re not going on a date to entertain someone. You’re going on a date to learn more about each other and have fun together. If it’s a first date, I suggest a place that is conducive to conversation such as a museum, art gallery, or a zoo. If there’s a lull in the conversation just look at whatever is around you and ask how or what they think about it.

9. By going on many of them.

10. 1 ask questions, get them to talk
    2 don’t just tell what but also why, because this can help others relate much better to what you are saying. For example if you say “i like snowboarding” the other might think oh well that’s okay, but i don’t like snowboarding at all, whereas if you say “I like snowboarding, mostly because of the beautiful views and the rush of sliding down the mountain fast” the other person might think “well i don’t like snowboarding but i do enjoy a good view”
    3 have a bad joke up your sleeve and make sure to state just how bad it is beforehand. Admitting you specifically prepared a bad joke for your date is either a pro or a good insight in personality
    4 blatant honesty when you feel insecure might actually make you look self-assured and open up the conversation when it reaches a potential dead end
    5 don’t say everything, keep some mysteries for the other to discover
    6…

    ~Whoo mystery~
    You’ll be fine

11. I’ve been bored on dates, but can’t say I’ve ever been afraid of being bored on a date. If you’re bored then the person you’re with isn’t very interesting to you, which is a cue to move on.

    Edit: never mind, misread the post

12. I go to make sure I have a good time. If she also has a good time, then there’s probably a second date. Stop trying to impress dates and start trying to just enjoy the night for yourself, and they’re your company

13. I’m not boring. I’ve had this independently verified many times.

14. Replaced it with fear of being boring in a marriage.

15. Bring up your lego collection

16. You need to change your frame of mind from “am I interesting?” to “is my date interesting?”

17. This shouldn’t be a problem but it becomes a problem because there’s this expectation from women that men need to do the entertaining (along with everything else) while they just look pretty. Women want to be taken on an emotional ride during the date. Obviously, this puts a lot of pressure on the guy. The best way to go about it is to actually live life and do things. If you’re not really doing much outside work/school, you’re not going to have much to talk about/things in common. Live your life and don’t try to be part of their lives, let them be part of your life instead. everything will fall in place when you start doing this.

18. I used to be really good at turning on the charm and working dates for conversation…it was exhausting. I’ve learned that ya, that can be fun, but if you’re doing all the leg work trying to be entertaining and they’re contributing nothing…well that’s not good either.

    If it’s a first date, keep the time of the date short. Like meet up for a coffee or a drink. If things don’t go well, hey you’re in an out in a half hour. If things are going well and you’re both into it there’s the option to stay longer.

19. Listen. That’s about it. Answer any question openly honestly and show your personality. If it clicks, it clicks. In my opinion, most girls will call it a good date if you just do not talk over her, listen to her, and give out compliments. She most likely spent time getting ready for the date.

20. Avoid small talk and think of interesting questions. If you are talking about the weather, local sports team, or your fabourite TV show then you are in the dregs of conversation.

    If I notice the conversation is starting to slump I have a few aces up my sleeve to perk it back it. I’ll ask if they believe in ghosts / have ever been somewhere haunted. What the most illegal thing they’ve done is. And what a hard lesson they learned in life was

    I was waiting for a date one time, there were 2 people on a date next to our table too. The guy was talking about the differences in conjugating French and Russian and she sounds *so fucking bored* and he just kept going on and on for like 15 minutes. Don’t do that. Don’t talk about grammar.

21. So just be you they will either like you or won’t, don’t be fake just be yourself. Will be much better in the long run.

22. “I’m funny how? I mean, funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?”

    — Tommy DeVito, “Goodfellas” (1990)

23. If you vibe you vibe. If she is really into you she will laugh at your shitty jokes and try to make you laugh and smile as well.

    If that’s not happening don’t force it. You aren’t a dancing monkey.