Hi everyone, I’m 22 (almost 23) and have never been in a relationship or even had my first kiss yet. I just was always really focused on school and was never into hook-up culture so I didn’t put much effort into dating or anything and honestly just despise dating apps lol.
Also, I’ve been at home since COVID hit when I was 19 in college so since then everything has been remote (both schooling and work) and I live with my parents in the suburbs so there aren’t many options.
I never felt that I was lacking though. I think I learned a lot from relationships from hearing stories from my friends and seeing their interactions from an objective 3rd POV. I also learned a lot about what I want from relationships from movies, books, TV shows, etc so in a sense I do feel like I have experience.
I do have a high sense of worth and value even though I never have gotten romantic attraction. I am happy with how I look and often get compliments for my appearance. I also am intelligent and have graduated top 10% of my class so I know I have value even if I have never been in my relationship. I have a strong sense of self and have built my confidence over the year.
I am worried that people would not want to give me a chance since I am so inexperienced at my age. I was wondering if this has caused issues later on in life for people? I’m worried people well see me as immature or will think something is wrong with me. Do I be open about this once I start dating? And where can I meet people when there aren’t many people my age around me? I’d appreciate any advice you have 🙂
16 comments
Most guys won’t care about any sort of inexperience, especially since you’re still pretty young. From how you describe yourself, trust me, you’ll be just fine.
At 22, no. That’s young enough to not be out of the ordinary. If anything, you should be concerned about the guys who are a little too into the idea of your inexperience.
It’s a non-issue I think. Just be careful and go at it in a speed you’re comfortable with. Have fun!
Beware of the wolves in sheeps clothing young lady. They are everywhere.
No problem at all. Kind of a plus really. Helping someone try new things is a lot of fun, especially when they discover they REALLY enjoy something.
If you are just looking to hook up yea it might suck. If you are looking for a relationship who cares how inexperienced you are. Its about much more than that.
It’s fine, idc about your experience as long as youre cool and patient with me as well. We’ll walk the road together
Well yes only because I’m married. Seriously though on the surface it wouldn’t matter to me, the biggest barrier is if it turned out your expectations would be unrealistic.
Every bad habit or quirk or thing you’re not quite happy with about yourself, you’ve got to realize your partner has those things too. Thinking everything is all perfect in a relationship is folly.
On the flip side, very few people have the right relationship on their first try. Don’t think just because you finally start one that it’s the right one long term.
So it’s a balancing act of recognizing that perfection is unlikely, but don’t saddle yourself with abuse or indifference.
I don’t expect an actual answer to this but when you’re describing yourself as inexperienced, is that with someone else or about everything? If it’s the latter take some time to learn about your body and the things you like and dislike.
It’s a long time ago but almost all the frustrations I had when I was younger tended to focus on women who didn’t know what they liked themselves so didn’t really know what positions or direction they wanted to take doing the act. Men tend to follow instruction so if you know kissing / touching X then letting your partner know changes everything very quickly. Yes, you’ll learn a lot with someone else but not going in cold so to speak will make it far easier for you.
Honest answer – no. But I would move on if the person I was with had hangups or other psychological stuff that I’m not equipped to deal with. Life’s too short.
“Inexperienced my age”, not sure where you get this sense on the age where one needs to be experienced. Removed this from your head please, be positive.
What?! I baffled why you’d think this might be a downside. It’s a major plus imo. Loads of guys love the innocence of it. And to be frank, virginity (regardless of gender) is still valued by a lot of people and I think it always will be.
No
No, but be aware of men too much older than you… some will take advantage of inexperience and insecurities.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders so you should be fine though
you’re male, female, or?
I was very much like you at that point in my life. Don’t let your lack of experience define you and you’ll be fine.
I ventured out there (with no regrets). Be careful how you frame success. Even if it doesn’t stick – you’ll get experiences that’ll give you a clearer picture of who you are, and your desires in a partner (or what you don’t want). Don’t underestimate the little things. And people will surprise you.
Be willing to get hurt, brush yourself off and try again. Don’t be impulsive. Learning how to reject is an important skill for ladies. Don’t get caught up in a path of least resistance. It’s ok to be single. There’s so much more – but you have to make your own mistakes.