My husband really wanted me to have my own way of income, for my own security, sanity, and because I am really great at art and what I do. He sees this and he knows I’m passionate about it- we planned for me to go to school for aesthetics before I got pregnant and we made it work. I finished my course and got an offer at a new salon immediately. This was the end of January. I have to pay weekly for my spot and it’s only from 3:00pm on, but the salon is all mine from then. This was working fine and I was JUST building up my clientele, when unfortunately a deal he made for selling a car didn’t go through and now he’s stuck with almost 10k sitting in the yard and we are running low on bill paying money.
My husband is a Red Seal Electrician and a very talented Hobby Mechanic but doesn’t have his actual mechanics license or what have you. Regardless, many people pay him good money for work done on vehicles from cars,trucks, atvs, boats, sleds, anything! He’s really good at it and the only reason he’s an electrician is because his dad is a heavy fire mechanic and wouldn’t let him be one (a whole weird thing for another time) but mechanic was his passion not electrician so he only rarely takes electrical jobs and makes almost all income working from home in his enormous garage that makes every dude drool, lol. All of his friends joke about how good he is at trading and selling etc. and he is- we have lived this way very fortunate to have time with eachother and the kids basically ever since Covid and he was laid off.
So he normally doesn’t see a lot of sales this time of year with taxes. It’s expected. I’m not BLAMING him for the car trade that failed but…. It was a risky sale. We were getting low and he sold a truck- dumped 13,000 on the bed- cash. I felt my soul and worries evaporate in that moment because it meant we had more time for my business to grow while we carefully lived for a couple of months.
Yeah he spent almost all of that on this trade and it flopped. Now his only option is to go do electrical over an hour away from 7-4pm – so 5:30-6pm basically. We are fortunate that this is a very good paying job and always wants him.
But what do I do now..
Essentially I will be with the kids (7years) (11mo) until 6pm and my salon is 25-30 mins away. And I have to prep the room so really can’t even do anyone until 7.. other than Tuesdays which won’t be available to me now because I have 8 am to 4pm.
We are trying to find childcare and live rural so it’s basically impossible. My older child needs to be driven 25 mins to school and back. Basically at our wits end.
He has to go to work. I can’t stop him even tho the plan was for him to be home, that can’t work financially right now. We are both so stressed. I have debilitating gastrointestinal problems that basically cause me to puke every night at 3-4 am. So I’m also not sleeping at all, Along with a lot of pain and my medication only works during the day for some reason.
Our kids are very well behaved and easy to care for but finding someone is impossible. I have 2 days until he starts work.
I don’t know if anyone can even think of a solution but please if you do leave a comment. I fear I will have to break my contract at the salon and quit my dream that barely even started.
Tldr; our plans for me working are disrupted because of a failed deal. It’s nobody’s fault to blame but it’s stressing us out and need to come to a solution before I am forced to quit a job I just went to school for all 2022. It could be temporary but if he’s making money he will be staying at his job and I don’t have childcare to watch my kids so we could both work
Tips on finding childcare in a rural area? For a 11 month old? I don’t even know 🙁
8 comments
That is life with a child. And the choice to live in rural areas.
Put out ads for a babysitter. Google babysitting websites. Find a babysitter there.
Call up every daycare in the area near your house. Near your work. And near his work.
You are trying to solve the immediate problem of childcare (which of course makes sense), but why is it that your husband can make unilateral decisions and stick you with all the household baggage for something he did wrong? Why hasn’t he gotten his mechanics license if that’s what he actually wants? Also, why wasn’t your contribution to the salon counted, as that’s a long term investment that’s now ruined? That salon is not going to be happy to liase with you if this suddenly gets dropped on them, so that whole education you got seems almost useless right now.
Have you both actually sat down and crunched numbers before making decisions? Cos now he has to immediately work, but how long is that supposed to be? When is your investment supposed to pay off? How long are you back to childcare? Any chance you could do some services from your home?
Do you rent or own? If you rent, maybe you can find a place more centrally located that would be to both your benefit.
Try talking to other moms in your area who work and see who they use for childcare or if they have any recommendations to look in your area.
Although, I do have to say I’m surprised there’s. no day care facilities in your area that don’t take kids under a year old. In Canada, isn’t 6 weeks the minimum? And isn’t there a national child care system that’s govt funded that was just implemented a couple of years ago? See if that’s available in your area.
What’s the earning potential in your Salon? Are you expecting to make money in month 1?
If you have a full order book I would take a bridging loan or even better venture debt which will be lower interest. You don’t have enough time to crowd fund but could you offer convertible notes to your friends and family and seek a cash injection here?
Lots of small businesses look at how much bills will be and don’t factor in income. Sometimes you have to spend to make it.
Your husband is dok g what he needs to in order to keep a roof over your heads. But if you will make way more than he does its a false economy. I. E if he makes 20/hr and you make 200/hr it’s sill to get him working to your detrmwnt
It sounds like you have a short term cash flow problem.
DAYCARE-
ok a lot have mentioned this but of course we have looked and tried that option. Most don’t want babies his age and are on wait lists. 2 of my friends were pregnant with me and they went on the wait list before the baby was even 3 months old. They still are less than 15 months so they are at home with their babies or are super fortunate to have involved grandparents who help. We don’t have that luxury unfortunately. Even when my oldest was 2 he was on a wait list for 8 months to get into a daycare for when he was 3 🙃
Can the children accompany you to work for now? You say you have the salon to yourself…
Can you do the extensions on the weekend? And as others suggested trade daycare days with some of your friends on maternity leave to get another day that you could work?
Your husband needs to step up.
He messed up. *his* business flopped. It is not on you to clean up his mess.
Personally (and what I have done with my baby daddy) is say “I’m working from 4-8. You are responsible for figuring out what to do with the kids”. Then leave.
The only other option is that you stop working entirely and he becomes the primary breadwinner. But he doesn’t get to dictate that you work AND refuse to help with childcare.