I can’t have sex because I’m insecure about my surgery scar and stretch marks

41 comments

1. I’m going to tell you something, the guy who likes you has this thing about his body that he hates and he’s afraid of what will happen if you see it. His sister hates her acne, your friend hates her arms, and your neighbor hates his beer belly. Your boss has moobs and his wife has twelve fingers.

   I wish you could understand that no one except you cares about your scars or stretch marks. Go enjoy an intimate relationship, keep the lights off until you see I’m right but don’t miss out on one of life’s great joys, not over some stretch marks.

2. Awe u poor soul I feel u coz I got some stretch marks too that make me insecure but idk what women wud say to that hey? Wanna DM?

3. The guy that gets to that point with you is not gonna care.

4. He won’t care if he cares about you. My fiance has a bad scare on her oubic area because of getting her ureter replaced when she was seven also has stretch marks on her thighs and but and I don’t care at all. I love her and her body.

5. Im covered in scars, just trophies. Good stories. Thats about it. Your being too hard on yourself.

6. I ain read it but jus so yk stretch marks are beautiful ❤️

7. I love my girlfriends stretch marks around her hips they’re like little lightening bolts and they’re very endearing and sexy.

   Find someone that wants you for you, not just your body or even better someone that loves your body stretch marks included which I don’t think as many guys as you think are bothered about.

8. people who matter wont mind.. at all. The ones who do mind, wont matter. at all.

9. You know men pay extra on sex dolls for imperfections cause it makes them more “realistic”?

10. This is your only body. You don’t have another one.
    The guy getting it on with you will notice your imperfections in passing and it will do exactly nothing to stop him from getting it on with you because of the power of boner. In that, his opinion is inconsequential.
    And the guy who’s going to fall in love with you won’t care about your imperfections, not even close, not even a tiny bit, not even at all
    He might even fall in love with them too

11. Therapy and time and experience will help with your self-esteem issues. I had a surgery when I was 27 that left me with a 10 inch scar on my shoulder, I couldn’t wear anything sleeveless for years. I’m used to it now because I can’t change it.

    I don’t want to sound dismissive, but trust me – one day, you’ll just get over it.

12. Was it a pilonidal cyst? I had n ex girl who had a scar from that. I never cared.

13. I hope in due time you can get past those fears, and until then, if someone really cares about you they won’t be that shallow to be bothered by such things especially if it’s something you can’t change, I’m plus sized and have stretch marks everywhere and hate how my stomach looks but my boyfriend constantly tells me how he finds me attractive and the things he likes about me, which he’s never been attracted to a bigger girl before but he doesn’t care that I’m bigger and finds me beautiful anyway, if they really care about you then you have nothing to worry about. I hope that helps at least a little?

14. just do it with the lights off, and then, if you guys really get together, talk to him about it, if he likes you, he wont even care

15. Suck his dick you don’t even have to get naked?

16. Your feelings are totally valid. Just know that guys aren’t thinking about scars and stretch marks when they’re getting laid. It sounds like he already cares about you for who you are.

17. Don’t be insecure. People do not care what your body looks like. Take it from someone with scars, stretch marks, saggy boobs, has been 120# and 250# – no one cares. If they’re attracted enough to take you to bed, you’re attractive. Full stop. Do it at night with the lights off. No one can see you, but you’re able to feel everything. You don’t have to be so in your head about anything. Just feel and enjoy. Once you turn 30 you realize no one cares and everyone is insecure. Just because you have something you can point to and go “this” is why I’m unattractive- doesn’t mean anyone else sees it that way.

18. He’s not gonna notice when he’s folding you up and your face is buried in the pillows. It’s normal to feel apprehensive about a new encounter but, trust me, both you and him are gonna be fine and it’s gonna be a great night

    Good luck to you

19. 35 M US

    I would bet most men wouldn’t care about those at all. And chances are if this guy is already interested in you, he likely won’t care either. Just FYI, those don’t always equate to “ugly” or “bad” to me, they add character. They are a part of you. No different than a birth mark. I hope you can someday find peace and learn to love them.

20. Im sure 99% of guys do not care about that, thats something you dont really have to worry about, there are other things that are higher on the list

21. Girl I am a man but I got stretch marks all over my upper legs butt and groin regions I got them when I hit purity its ok so people have that happen some don’t letting little things like that bother you is silly we are all human and if someone can’t accept your flaws their not worth you time or energy be proud of your self and your imperfections don’t let fear bog you down trust me it’s a hard road if you do

22. You’ll be able to say you don’t give a fuck eventually. I used to hide my mangled right hand. Now I don’t give a fuck.

23. The woman who took my virginity had a scar on her forehead, fake boobs and one of the implants was kinda showing, and a few other scars and stretch marks that she might have felt just as insecure about…but god damn was she hot af!! No, men aren’t going to care that much lol

24. I don’t know if there is anything we can say to help you feel better. As a 50-year-old woman who has to roll her saggy boobs up into her bra, I can tell you there are men available for every type of body. Don’t believe me? Go on PornHub.

25. Sweetie 🙁 a) the guy wont even notice those things b) dont self sabotage. At least try it out. As for the sex, maybe try it with lights off or keeping a long white shirt (and nothing else). Trust me, guys don’t care about the things we care about. I’m bigger and always was self conscious of my tummy but guys dont even care, love the thighs and the ass, even with those stretch marks. Lastly, the most beautiful thing you can have is confidence. You got this queen.

26. I would go back to him

27. Literally zero people care about this, except you. 🙂

    No guy is gonna look and be like, “yeaaaaah we were gonna have sex, BUT OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT SCAR! MY PENIS HAS WITHERED!”

    Relax. It’s ok. 🙂

28. Porn actress have stretch marks.

29. I have to imagine that you will have a harder time finding a guy that feels the same as you do about your stretch marks.. actually that is near impossible. The vast majority of men really would not notice that at all. Have fun and don’t fret much; remember no one is perfect… try saying that to yourself every once in a while. When you do feel your ready to make love with someone, remember you can turn the lights low. Many women prefer that.. at least until they feel more secure. Also it is never a bad thing to hold on to your virginity until you feel you found the right guy. Be well and try not to worry so much OP.

30. I actually have a cyst that needs to be surgically removed and no man has ever brought it up. I’m sure your scar looks a lot cuter than the actual cyst 😅

    if someone wants to have sex with you, scars and stretch marks aren’t gonna generally stop them from wanting that. and if it’s a relationship that you’re in and not just dating, they seem to care even less about the small stuff like that.

31. I see more and more of this, and I think it’s because social media is so delusional and creates standards that most human being will never attain. NO guy is going to care about stretch marks and a scar, they will be too excited about being intimate with you. Even if somehow your worst nightmare came true and some guy said something then you would immediately know that he was a massive douche and not worth your time. Call up that guy who has a crush on you and see what happens!

32. I’m about to have knee surgery and I’m already looking for the tattoo to cover it. All things aside, you are beautiful and don’t forget that.

33. There is nothing wrong with having scars and stretch marks for example I have a couple of not so great scars on my hand from a kid who stabbed me in the hand several times with a ballpoint pen and I had to have two surgeries just to get the tip removed and all of the plastic outta there and it looks awful. Not to mention from losing weight Ive got stretch marks myself. You gotta go into these things thinking the best about yourself. It’s something you can’t change and that’s ok most people aren’t gonna care they are more likely to be curious about what happened then they are to reject you because of it.

34. I love a woman with stretch marks, to each their own 🤷🏽‍♂️. I’m sure your overthinking it.

35. 25F here with 4 abdominal/pelvic surgery scars and a fuck ton of stretch marks from having 2 kids:

    The person that’s right for you will not only be completely unable to keep their hands… and mouth.. off of you, but they also make you feel like an absolute goddess in your own skin and you probably won’t even be thinking about how you look while being intimate with them.

    Hugs.

36. Most women have stretch marks to some degree or another on their butts, hips, and boobs. I’ve even seen men with them. And I will say mine have faded overtime, but some of them are still there, sometimes I get more especially if I gain weight. It has never been an issue with any man I’ve ever dated. I have a big scar on my stomach from when I was a kid and a small scar on my low back from a biopsy, neither have ever stopped any guy from wanting to be with me or find me attractive. Everyone has their thing, but don’t let it stop you from enjoying life and don’t go too far out of your way to hide it. My hope for you is that as you get older, you’ll realize it’s really not worth being worried about.

37. A man will like you for you 💯.And any man that doesn’t respect you ain’t worth knowing!! Good Luck 🤞🏻🤞🏻

38. I am the same as you but 25F. I have stretch marks on my belly and shoulders and it KILLS me to the point where I can’t tell the last time I wore tank tops & showed my midriff even in 95+ degree weather. I’ve been told tho, when someone rlly cares for you they don’t care so hopefully soon you find your person who appreciates and sees u for your inner and outer beauty regardless. I know it’s a burden to see that everyday on you but the right person won’t give af:

39. I have stretch marks in my butt and hips, as well as a big ass scar on my wrist from a cyst removal. My partner loves my marks and kisses my scar. He likes the skin tags next my vulva and says my freckles on my butt are cute. he’s likely to either not mind or love them. If he cares in A bad way, he’s not the one for you.

    sex is silly and awkward and weird. You won’t look hot much of the time, your orgasm face might be strange, and that’s okay! That’s what sex is all about. It’s playful, it’s vulnerable, it’s emotional, it’s naughty. I hope that with time, you can learn to overcome the low self esteem. I did. ❤️

40. Stretch marks? You mean tiger attack scars?

41. I’m not free of insecurities. There are many things on my body and about my body I don’t love. My stretch marks, my cellulite, my scars (although a couple are kinda cool looking), my random zits that I still get at 38, my boobs aren’t as perky or big as I’d like. I was really insecure about my labia when I was younger.

    That being said, a lot of people have seen me naked and I’ve seen a lot of people naked. Men and women get stretch marks. I’d argue the majority of people have them somewhere. I’ve seen some crazy scars from heart surgeries, from burns, from random mishaps. Guys can have some major insecurities too. From my experience, most guys are just pretty happy to have a naked woman in their presence and aren’t too fussed by imperfections.