A week ago on a Saturday night, I (25F) went to a concert with two girlfriends and their three guy friends. Alongside the group, one of the guys (28M) and I spent the night drinking and vibing out about our similar taste in music, making jokes, etc – I am inexperienced in dating, but it felt flirty (e.g., twice he put his hand on my back). At the end of the night, he said he wanted to see me again and we exchanged numbers. I woke up to a few texts referencing musicians we had discussed, links to songs, etc. He then proceeded to ask me if I was free on Tuesday and because I wasn’t he asked me if I was free that same day. Being a Sunday, I said “not to be lame but Sunday nights are yoga night in my household” which he hearted and responded well to generally. For the rest of the day, he was fairly responsive as we exchanged a few texts. However, once the week started, he got into this habit of texting me first (e.g., a song link, a picture of his tv watching an interview of one of our fav bands, really random stuff), and then once I’d respond, not responding for 12-14 hours – pretty much one text from him a day. Because I did want to meet up for a date and we hadn’t landed on anything, that Tuesday I asked if he was free and we landed on Thursday night. He was slow to confirm things, super vague in his responses, and once I finally set a time and place, rather than confirming the morning of he ended up canceling 2 hours beforehand, not apologetically, and asking if the next day worked. Pissed off, I just said I couldn’t do the next day (I actually couldn’t) and didn’t provide an alternative. He texted back an emoji, and when I didn’t respond, he asked whether two days later would work. Once I did, he took literally 24 hours to respond, and when I didn’t see his message after a few hours, he sent me another picture of his tv with one of our favorite musicians. We finally ended up having a date today and it went really well. He asked me repeatedly what I was doing later tonight because he had a birthday to get to and then wanted to meet up at some point in the evening if my plans with my friends fell through. While I had a good time, I spent a decent bit of the date trying to sus out whether he wasn’t that interested in the date to begin with (although he suggested it), or whether he’s just been trying to play it too cool with the slow responses and overcompensating? What would cause him to be super adamant about a date and then just drop off?

1 comment
  1. Im not sure I feel like he is interested but theres got to be something else going on on his end. I can’t tell if hes doing purposefully or if he really didn’t see ur message. But im leaning more towards purposefully waiting to respond. Maybe try asking him why he takes so long to respond?

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