Girlfriend came over yesterday to tell me she still has feelings for her best friend. We’ve had conversations about this before because I found something on their phone about their best friend that was really really sus. I confronted her about it and I asked her why she would start a relationship with me if this was the case but she said she had her feelings in order and that I was the one she loved and wanted to be with.
For time after, I always felt so jealous and uneasy whenever they hung out alone. I don’t like the friend, very sus and very manipulative and has history of cheating on partners and my own best friend. I felt so gross everytime I would imagine my girlfriend doing anything after she told me countless times that she wanted to do anything to make me feel comfortable and trust her. I was quite literally losing my mind thinking I needed to see a therapist for thinking low things of the person I love but now It feels so nice knowing I was right all along. This is really the good thing to come of this, not doubting myself and learning to trust myself again.
Long story short, I know I was gaslit, played for 8 months, and cheated on emotionally (maybe physically too but really don’t care to ask). I am 100% ending this but wondering if there is any advice on how to have that talk today when I pick up my things at her place after work. I am angry, I know I’m better off, I want to tell her how much of a shitty and disgusting and stupid person she is but I want the conversation to be productive. How do I give myself peace and time to heal without thinking about a shitty ending?
TLDR: Girlfriend still has feelings for best friend, made me believe I was being too jealous, and I went through several breakdowns thinking I was crazy for thinking she was being unfaithful. I know I’m better off but how do I convey those feelings to give myself peace when I meet her tonight. I want the conversation to be productive, not just yelling and anger.
3 comments
You’re biggest mistake was caring about her feelings in the first place. If you want my advice you find a way to hook up with one of her friends.
Just pick up your stuff and leave . Leaving it all in the past .you have a long road ahead of self love and recovery. Nothing you say will lead to a productive conversation. She has been gaslighting you and she’s not a good human being. Leaving her toxic ass behind is the best move for you. Good luck
You will be just wasting your breath and your time by trying to explain any of this to her. She gaslit you. People who do that do not care what you think about it imho. If I were you, I would just hold your head up high and grab your stuff and cut your losses. Good luck to you.