I (18F) met a guy through a mutual friend last month. We went on a few “dates”, more like just hanging out together. Neither of us wants anything serious so we talked about being FWB. I’m a virgin so I was super excited to have my first experience with someone who’s respectful, attractive and fun to be with. We are meeting on Saturday for dinner at his house, so I think it’s understood we will be having sex.
Here’s the problem. He is much older than me (41M) so I was afraid he wouldn’t want to be with me because of the age difference. Therefore, I decided to tell him I’m 25. I made up a story about how I graduated from the college that I’m actually just starting this year, and he believed it. Then I had to say that I have a job, so I said I work at a restaurant. I actually did work at this restaurant for a few months last year, so I know what it’s like and I could share some stories. I don’t think he suspects anything yet, but I still feel weird about it, like I’m misleading him. At the same time, if he thinks I’m a liar he may not want to see me anymore.
Anyone have any advice on how to proceed? Should I say anything before (or during) when we meet on Saturday?
7 comments
You should tell him. Before.
If it’s just FWB, you probably don’t need to tell him. If it becomes more than that, you’re obviously going to have to say something.
You should have told him the truth. And, he deserves to know the truth.
I understand you aren’t going for anything serious but am on the side that you should most definitely tell the truth. 18 vs 25 is a big difference, you yourself acknowledged the age difference might bother him, give him the chance to make that decision. If he founds out later or after the fact, and is uncomfortable with your age he’ll probably feel a lot worse about it. I feel like most likely he won’t care, but you made the situation sticky by lying about it. Tell him the truth before you are intimate.
This is your chance to show him that despite being 18, you can still be mature enough.
Tell him and apologize. Say that you were worried about the age difference being too big, even if this was no serious arrangement. How you dont want to go into this based on lies. How you still find him attractive and would love to have this happen, BUT you absolutely understand if he would not be comfortable with this anymore.
Then go from there.
trust me, he knows
the subtle mannerism of an 18 and 25 year old are impossible to ignore
He may be turned on more so. Barely legal women are many times fantasized about by men of all ages. Just have fun and be safe.