If you had been in an unhealthy relationship, what’s something from a healthy relationship that makes your jaw drop?

20 comments

1. I can say no and it’s no big deal.

2. That someone could love another person so deeply and wholeheartedly. That people tell the truth and love their family enough not to risk losing it.

3. My partner doesn’t disappear for 24 hours on a drug binge. (Being married to an addict was exhausting.)

4. Feeling safe enough to say no to sex

5. Realising that they are not trying to prove me wrong but they want to find a medium where we are both happy

6. Being wanted purely for being me and not feeling like I had to mould to their wants

7. You can bring up issues without a fear of them leaving you

8. They want to support me and want me to be happy.
   What they say and do match — in a good way.
   They don’t get angry at me if I’m sad or having a hard time, and instead they ask me how they can help.

   I’m still finding it very new and shocking.

9. Truly feeling seen and heard and factored into the person’s decisions. My ex used to remind me that it was okay for me to have emotions and that I didn’t need to apologize for things (I often apologize(d) unnecessarily; it’s something I am working on).

10. no fights! feeling seen

11. [removed]

12. Someone wanting to spend time with me fully clothed. Someone caring about my thoughts and feelings.

13. I’ve been in an unhealthy dating relationship but my husbands response when he’s angry does shake my childhood trauma lol. He rarely gets mad has never screamed at me or stormed out of a room. I know that’s like bare minimum but idk. I get mad so much about so little and really struggle to not yell or storm out.

14. Having someone look at me like an equal and a partner and value what I have to say. I have been so used to being criticized for thinking or doing things that I’ve really thought I was stupid and weird.

15. Not having to lock my doors because when I say I want privacy I’m listened to.

16. My ex was toxic so my current bf is wondering why I’m so amazed by the bare minimum 😭

    1 I can say no without any punishment
    2 He listens if I tell him what bothers me
    3 Constant updates in between hectic schedules
    4 Consistency ✨
    5 He doesn’t take me as a competition (supportive)
    6 No manipulation and takes accountability for his mistakes
    7 Completely understands my mental illnesses
    8 Doesn’t compliment other women (except celebrities)
    9 Doesn’t entertain other girls
    10 Accepts and loves my flaws (THIS!!!)

    I could go on and on but these are the things that stood out for me because those are also my major issues with my ex.

17. The complete lack of yelling and name calling. Also the fact that I never feel stressed to be around my partner, I always feel comfortable and at ease around her. I was always stressed with my ex and terrified of what she might say or do each time we argued. Gosh I’m so happy to be in a healthy relationship now

18. Not being afraid to come home.

19. My current, healthy relationship is so easy. I was walking on eggshells throughout my 25 year marriage. Now I can breathe.

20. Yelling, swearing and name calling are not an every day or weekly occurrence.