Today I hung out with a friend and normally she is usually very cheery and we hug each other a lot but today she was really standoffish towards me and gave me some passive aggressive remarks. She’s been like this a few times and I remember one of the times she said she was like that was because she was mad at me for something but like I have no idea what she’s mad at me about this time and she’s obviously trying to pass it off without telling me but like that’s obviously not working. And I was walking eggshells around her today and it made me pretty miserable
Ik the first thing people are going to tell me is to talk to her but the thing is I’m so burnt out from these talks. I’ve had 6 serious talks in the span of a month and a half and I’m so exhausted. I had a small passive aggressive but traumatizing sitch as well within the past month. And I feel like everytime there is a problem I’m always like, okay be the bigger person and talk to them but I’ve done this dozens and dozens of time in the past year and I’ve had enough. It seems like everytime I feel like I’m getting closer to a friend in my friend group they cross a boundary or say something hurtful or is passive aggressive. And they all have unresolved trauma in their lives that spill into our issues
And I just keep feeling betrayed over and over. And when I seek for empathy they just keeping arguing with me. And I’m just so tired and I’m so depressed about it. I feel like as more and more of these incidents happen I get more and more sensitive to it and get more hurt by it
2 comments
Hi, I’m sorry you have to deal with this and I’m sorry you feel alone. I’m sending you love and hugs.
As for your friend, she is very clearly not mature enough to maintain a healthy and positive relationship. There is no need to continue trying to talk to her. You already did that and she obviously isn’t getting it, isn’t able to let whatever is bothering her go, and/or is just actively trying to be rude. Either way, she isn’t someone that you want as a friend. Friendships should give you happiness not make you feel drained. Drop her. It’s better to get rid of the immature toxic people and feel alone for a bit than to continue to allow horrible or immature people drain you. You will find your people. I promise. Just hang in there.
Look~ we all want true friends ~but you have to set boundaries. If a “friendship” is emotionally draining and there’s always some new drama on the horizon~ you need to end this relationship. People treat you the way you allow them to. Having to always be on the defensive or apologize just to get along is exhausting. Life is too short to be bothered with folks who do not value you. Don’t allow yourself to be the whipping post for someone else’s problems/issues. Walking away from bullshit will enable you to find good solid relationships. Good luck.