Why are many of us so worked up about winning the approval of our fathers especially?

12 comments

1. I ended up switching into the same field as my father unfortunatelly and started a secondary education now. Ngl having directly comparable knowledge now bothers me more than i thought.. Its STEM and I dont feel like he sees my work on the same level as his

2. It’s a normal human response. Our parents made us, raised us and spent their blood, sweat and tears on us. Of course we want to make them happy back somehow. However a great parent is one who doesn’t put so much pressure and expectation on their kid.

3. Loll. I couldn’t possibly disappoint mine any where near how much he did my entire childhood so I couldn’t give less of a shit these days. But that has taken me many many years to work out.

4. I reckon it’s an evolutionary leftover from when we still foraged for food and built homes out of sticks and mud. Our caveman brains want our parents’ approval since that drives our desire to learn how they do stuff. And in these days where you can learn to forage from a youtube video, and your parents complaining about you not being able to afford a home even though you make more money than they did at your age and a million other things, we’re left with a constant feeling of disapproval.

5. My dad is dead and has been since I was 13, so don’t know what you are talking about

6. He’s the first man in our life who gives us unconditional love, confidence and validation. However that doesn’t have to secured it must be given unconditionally. He is the most important figure who teaches little boys about masculinity, taking accountability being fearless, not being afraid of rejection, standing to bullies, having confidence in having opinions. Not playing down my mother’s role in any way but my father is most important person growing up.

7. I think its also a bit of wanting to be better than him. If the approval comes great. But we aim to do better which should please him therefore happy?

8. I stopped caring when I was in my teens. We were 2 completely different people and I was disgusted with his behavior. We eventually found peace when I had my kids and he was a better grandfather than father.

9. Because growing up he was the measurement of what it means to be a man. As you get older, you realize he’s just another person but that feeling you had when you were younger is still there. He was an adult before you, he’s already been through what you have and survived it, he’s already accomplished many of the things he’s set out to do. You want to be acknowledged by someone you grew up respecting and admiring.

10. My dad put alot of effort in not abandoning my dumbass, so I wanna make him proud somehow so he doesn’t regret not leaving

11. I never felt like I need to earn the approval of my dad. He seem to approve everything I do. But I also wasn’t chasing girls or ditching class as a kid. I was focused, respectable, and pretty smart, which I think are characteristics that he values more than if I’m working in the same field as him.

12. I just did it, easy.