A friend of mine recently expressed interest in my partner, sexually and romantically, and also into me. I connected the two of them (we’ve been poly a while).
Now my friend is also expressing interest in having a threesome with me involved, and I’m super exited!
I’m a bit nervous though, since most of my dating and sex outside of my partner has been separate from them, so I’m not 100% confident on how to involve another person in a proper way.
I want to make him feel safe and as included as possible, I want to know what he likes, and I’ve had some discussions with him already, but I don’t know if there’s a blind spot im missing.
What are some important conversations to have in this sort of situation?
3 comments
I think one of the most important is that he doesn’t feel excluded.
Is a FMF threesome?
Mutually agree who will be getting attention from who – is your friend going to mostly be getting attention from both of you? Are you going to all try to split attention equally? Do you or your current partner need to feel like the attention is on you so you or they don’t feel left out or insecure?
Safe sex – what protection will be used for what activities (kissing, oral, penetration). STD tests. If pregnancy is a possibility, discuss birth control and what would happen if an accidental pregnancy occurs.
Romantic limits – Kissing? Cuddling? Spending the night? One on one dating with either of you?
Sexual activities with just one of you instead of both? Are any sexual activities off limit? Is it okay to try activities with your friend that you haven’t already done with your partner?
Discuss boundaries/limits and make sure everyone understands.