You know how in porn, girls use their fingertips to stimulate their clit? I’ve never been able to feel anything like that. I’ve always curled my fingers and used the space between my knuckles and nails. My problem is, I don’t really get “wet” when aroused. Also, it’s literally impossible for me to fit a finger or inside myself. Have I done, major damage to my body?
(I just did the math and I’ve legit been doing for ten years, since eight grade. And I’m a really stupid virgin so I have know way of knowing how this might effect sex someday. I might legit become a nun.)
25 comments
You can rub yourself any way you want that feels good. Are you asking because you can’t have an orgasm?
porn doesn’t show what is right and wrong you can do anything you want. can you not use tampons either for example?
First of all it was very jarring to see that you wrote” I’m a really stupid virgin.” Being a virgin doers not make you stupid. That is a legitimate choice or life circumstance. There is nothing wrong with that.
There is no wrong way to masturbate. If you have experimented and found what feels good to you than it is the right way. I think what you are asking is are you doing it safely? That is something for your doctor, preferably you OB/GYN. Don’t be embarrassed to ask. I have a friend who is an OB/GYN and she appreciates when people ask her things like this because she feels like she is helping them to feel please without worry. She gets asked a lot of things and is never hesitant to talk about it.
My completely unqualifies non-medical opinion is that it doesn’t sound harmful.
Please, please, remember that you aren’t stupid, nor have you mentioned any decisions that are stupid.
You can do anything you want. Your vagina, your choice.
So fingers, rubing on something, vibrator, dildo, womanizer, any means are ok, even stimulation of your asshole is. I suppose pleasure is the goal, not an orgasm.
And if you don’t get wet, you can try any lube : water based, silicone, vaselin, even spit would do.
The key IS, you are normal.
If it works, it’s not wrong. Each body is different, and we each need different things to satisfy.
Remember, porn is a performance, those women are actors. What they do for the camera under direction is not reality.
There is no right or wrong way to masturbate.
It’s only the wrong way if you get injured or something, otherwise it’s whatever works
Hey friend! As a fellow woman who gets off in an unconventional way, there’s nothing wrong with how to you’re doing it so go forth!
Re getting wet & how tight you think you are – this part in my experience really has to do with a mental connection part that comes from being with someone you’re attracted to. If you’re not really mentally into what you’re doing it probably won’t feel great, either with someone else or if you’re seeing whether a finger fits inside you. When your brain locks into attraction mode you’ll feel yourself respond in a way that is hard to replicate without that external stimulus!
In short, when you start making out w someone you’re really into and your vag goes into overdrive you’ll know exactly what im talking about. And as other posters have mentioned, if your brain and body are there but you’re not as wet as you want, there’s no shame in the lube game. Have fun!
If u cum there’s no wrong way
Has nothing to do with what it looks like or how you do it… and you cannot damage your vagina while masturbating (or trying to insert a finger).
Have you ever visited a gynaecologist?
There is a condition where vaginas are very tight and there is a way to work it out (I forgot the name) but there is a dildo set that exists where you start by a very small one to work the muscles and teach them to loosen. And then you work your way to bigger ones.
Anyway, if you are concerned that “something doesn’t feel right with your vagina”, go seek medical expertise!
As for the technique, worst that could happen is that you cannot get pleasure. If it’s the case, try other moves, or even a vibrator.
GL!
Wrong way? For years, until I was about 15, I used to masturbate by grinding against the floor. It was actually really weird learning to use my hand.
Do what feels good for you, there are no rules as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else. You’re not going to damage yourself just by touching yourself, use lube if you need to to reduce chafing.
Do whatever makes you feel good. There’s no bad ways (as long as you are not sticking anything other than a finger or a toy in your butt or vagina).
Sometimes women don’t have a lot of natural lubricant. A nice water based lube could really help. Just not KY Jelly, that stuff is awful and so goopy.
If you feel dry at other times there’s products like Refresh that are made to be used daily to increase your natural lubrication. You can get microtears if your vagina is too dry. That can cause yeast and other infections.
No rules! If dryness persists, there’s an OTC moisturizer made for the vagina – use a few times a week. Up your hydration too, a lot.
Some women need clit and g spot stimulation at the same time. Maybe look at a toy that does this for you. I like clit orgasms first, gspot comes right after usually.
Experiment with toys, fingers, running the bath water over you.
UberLube is a great product btw.
It shouldn’t be painful to put in one finger in the vagina. It sounds like there’s some possible vaginismus going on, which needs Obgyn intervention to safely work your way through this. It’s a pretty common condition.
No
If you don’t get wet, use lube. You might have hormonal imbalance, or you just don’t know how to enjoy that feeling yet. Lube or moisturizer will help.
Lubrication, or the lack of it, is normal. That’s why there’s all kinds of lubes on the market. For masturbating, you do what feels right to you, if you are concerned about the inability to fit anything inside you, you could speak with a doctor. But also, when I was a virgin, I was so scared for anything to be in there. Even a finger made me nervous which made me basically close up and dry up, if that makes sense.
There’s no wrong way. Everyone’s body is different. Whatever feels good is the right way.
There’s no right or wrong way to masturbate don’t worry, there are also very very few ways of doing it that would cause physical harm. If I’m in a hurry I do it a certain way and it’s the quickest and most effective way, I’ve never been able to simulate it with sex, but I’ve never had trouble having an orgasm with a partner either. If it works for you then that’s the important thing.
In terms of the lubrication issue, does your way get you to orgasm quickly? I find lubrication takes at least 5 minutes of stimulation to happen for me. Also at different times of your cycle you will notice more or less due to hormone levels. I wouldn’t worry too much just yet.
In terms of not being able to get a finger in, it could be your hymen, it could just be tension because if you’re from a religious background it can cause all sorts of emotions and thoughts and they can make you tense up. To get insertion to be easy you need to relax. I would recommend some lubrication too, if having actual sex lube would raise suspicion in your house try pure coconut oil. If anyone asks say you use it as makeup remover or for your hair or something, but a bit of that on your finger will help as well as being relaxed and having already reached orgasm once.
Happy exploring!
And some women need to use lubricant but might just be worth asking next visit to obgyn,but that’s just to be safe, sounds normal.
Sometimes if I’m not wet I just use some saliva. Do what feels good to you. I use two fingers and rub back and forth above the clit. That gets tiring though so I usually just vibe the clit.
I honestly never manually stimulated myself until a few years ago. I can achieve orgasm really easy just by grinding. There is no wrong way. What ever way gets you to achieve orgasm. Are you asking because you’re unable to achieve an orgasm? Oh I just see someone asked that never mind.
Hey, I have a similar experience. I have always masturbated through my underwear, never direct contact and never could finger myself. I do however get wet, so I can’t comment on that. One thing I have to tell you is, you aren’t broken and you haven’t caused any damage to your body. If you can go to a good gynecologist and ask them about your issues, you could do some tests and see what’s going on with you physically. This could also have psychological reasons, or a mix of physical and psychological. I myself have vaginismus, which is the involuntary tensing or contracting of muscles around the vagina. r/vaginismus is a very good sub for this issue. However, I’m not a medical professional and I don’t know what you have. There could be many different physical or mental causes to your symptoms. Take care of yourself, don’t feel ashamed about it, it’s actually a very good thing that you’re asking about this.
Porn is fake. Rub what feels good, not what *looks* good.