Me (F 22) and my bf (M 23) live togheter for 3 yrs now, spend almost everyday 24/24 togheter with small exceptions (we go to the same college, masters too). He did a lot of volunteering in hs and now found a job pretty easily. I wanted to wait a year and after this to search for a job bcs I have to do a surgery in summer and I really need time to recover so I didn’t even try. But now I can’t stop crying everyday being so alone after doing everything with him (he works 8 hrs but it takes +2hrs walking there so 10 hrs a day alone). I’m reconsidering trying to get hired there now and not later but I’m afraid they’ll say no bsc my CV is really weak and if they’ll say no my chances to work with my bf as we always planned would be 0 for a long time or forever. This is scary and I know I should maybe find something else without him but | just can’t comprehend not being with him for the rest of my life for so many hours a day. I have 2 friends but they can go out every couple of weeks so I’m still alone. Advise?
TL;DR Been used to my bf 24/24h and now he got a job so I’m alone for 10 hrs a day and I’m depressed
4 comments
This is above our pay grade. You desperately need therapy. You should not need to spend every hour with your boyfriend. You need to have a life of your own.
You can’t let your life revolve around your boyfriend, okay? I don’t think it’s smart to let your career hinge on your relationship. Absolutely try and find a job. Your CV isn’t going to get stronger by waiting. You can do volunteering if you can’t get hired initially. I also don’t understand why getting a job now would hurt your chances to work with your BF later?
You need to have your own life and some measure of independence. It will make you a more interesting person and better partner. It’s not good for your mental health to have no identity of your own.
You need to have your own life and some measure of independence. It will make you a more interesting person and better partner. It’s not good for your mental health to have no identity of your own.
Your thinking around this is unhealthy. You should have an independent life from your boyfriend, and then you come together at the end of the day and on weekends to share with each other. Working together could be a future goal, but should not be the end all be all. Fill your time with activities you enjoy, and it sounds like between now and summer would be the perfect time to take an internship to prepare you for work after you are recovered from your surgery.