28/M, been single for 4 years. Live in the UK. I apologize for the length of the post, but there is no short way to give context on your whole life haha
Ultimately, despite having made a lot of progress in the last few years, I feel quite lost. And I don’t really know what to do next. I’d love to hear the thoughts from anyone who has been in a similar place before.
Currently live with my Dad and older brother. We all get along well but I feel tired living at home, and want to start my own life. But I am also afraid of being alone and isolated if I do that. My brother is my best friend, but he is moving out soon, so it will just be me and my dad.
My mother passed away 5 months ago after a 12 month illness. This is another reason I find it difficult living here now, the whole house reminds me of her.
Just before her illness, my brother and I started a work-from-home business and we are doing incredibly well (but couldn’t really enjoy it because of what was going on).
My financial/income situation is in a good place (I am very thankful and feel so lucky), but this is why I feel confused. I have so many options now, when most of my life had none. The pressure of “what to do next” is killing me.
The last 4 years I have just focused on going to the gym (everyday) and making this business work. I’ve achieved the things I wanted when I was an unemployed, unskilled obese 24 year old all those years ago. Now I just have a feeling of “is this it?”.
I just want my life to become more exciting. All I do is work, go to the gym and browse the internet/play games every evening to kill time until I sleep.
Every day feels the same. But I have nobody to share my life with except my friends who are see every month or so. They all have their own lives/families/girlfriends so we can’t hang out that often.
I should also add that I am recovering from an alcohol/weed problem which I resorted to during my mother’s illness. I am scared that if nothing changes, I will feel back into those terrible habits.
I just don’t know what to do. Something needs to change, but what?
1 comment
The next steps in maturity are usually:
1. Develop your personality with hobbies and interests. Try everything you can stand and see what sticks.
2. Start searching for a life partner who shares your interests.
3. Develop a relationship and move in together.
Try those steps next. Don’t know what to try? Try curling, badminton, tennis, fishing, camping, automotive refurbishing, retrogame refurbishing, learn a coding language, play contract bridge, etc.