I wanted to ask and sounds silly, but me and my boyfriend have broken up a month ago (been together for 3 years). We broke up on a good and amicable term, and we still care about eachother a lot and wish to be in eachothers lives even if we’re no longer together in a romantic relationship we still at least want to be friends. However, I have my doubts as to whether maintaining a friendship with him will be a good idea or not. I can understand not a lot of people would become friends with their exes due to the obvious and common reasons (when ending it on a good note), which are the reason i have doubts that make me worry.
I’d appreciate any advice given. And for those that have been/are in a similar situation, what things did you do to when becoming friends with your ex? TL;DR: says it all in the title
6 comments
If both of you are emotionally mature and just mature in general a friendship should be possible.
I’ve seen it work, but I’ve never seen it work without a cost to the exes. Whether it’s stunting their own ability to move on, or spoiling future relationships, etc., something seems to always come up. It’s your life and your choice but I’ve personally never regretted clean breaks, even after amicable breakups.
Personally I think If you want to be friends with you ex, youre probably still in love with him or don’t truly love him anymore (but cared a lot for him) at all.
I think if you still romantically love you’re ex, you’ll likely get back together with him at some point or you may get jealous when hes dating women, gets married etc. (You can say you won’t get jealous or even imagine you would, but when you do see them with someone else, you’ll get that feeling like youre extremely drunk.) I think you may get hurt if still truly love love him and try to be his friend.
If you don’t truly love you’re ex, but still care about him a lot (just like how you care a lot about your best friend, but you would never say your in love with them) I strongly believe the friendship would work out perfectly. You won’t consider dating them again(in a good way), you won’t get jealous if they date other women, since you guys know each other so well you can hook each other up with the perfect match, so many etcs. Its would probably be a perfect friendship.
I personally would never be friends with my ex unless I still loved her and hoped for a chance to get back with her. If I was friends with her and never loved her, I probably wouldn’t socialize/hang out with her much as I would be too busy with myself and my personal life, and dating around giving other women/girlfriend the majority of my social time.
Please, don’t be offended if any, these were just my 100% honest personal thoughts lol.
Yes but rarely does it work out. Your future partners are also not likely to be supporting of said friendship. Staying friends with exes is frequently a bad idea.
But give it a try. I’ve seen it work out, but don’t be surprised if your ex ends up not wanting to stay friends over time.
I’m going to go with no here, since you keep calling him your boyfriend.
You should go at least a couple of months of no contact. That way you can remember life without them. And hopefully in that time heal and meet other people. Then you can decide if you want to be friends again. See how you feel at that point.