TLDR: we broke up because I wasn’t being appreciated and I said I would leave the door open, but idk if that’s a dumb idea and if I should trust her when she says really anything because she no longer has an obligation to be truthful. Thank you
We broke up because she kept accusing me of putting in no effort and had been uninterested in ANY intimacy, was rude and abrasive towards me etc. she later admitted to being in the wrong and apologized and said she knew I was putting in lots of effort and deserved better, she begged me to not leave which I felt horrible about, after sleep I decided that if she actually seeks help and fixes her own issues then I would consider getting back together. Not sure if I’m stupid for letting her get hope when personally I don’t think she’ll change, but I didn’t lie, if she does then okay.She told me she doesn’t want anyone else and only wants me, and I told her if she sleeps with it wants to sleep with someone else, then the doors closed because then I know she’s moved on and I can move on too. This morning | noticed her location to be about 750-1000 feet from her work…
.. at a crusty motel, now if I where
to yk, be with someone I didn’t wanna be seen with, I would go to a cheap motel too right? But I know maps can be wrong and sometimes is but am I an idiot for A.
Leaving the door open B. Believing my Ex-girlfriend when she says she’s at work and that the maps wrong?
BTW I was not stalking her, I was changing her profile picture when I noticed and then got a gut feeling. Thank you all for any help
4 comments
Close the door, lock it, and throw away the key OP.
What would you be leaving the door open *for*?
You broke up with her for a *reason*, and that reason has not changed. She is who she is because that is who she chooses to be. So if you “leave the door open”, the only person who is going to come walking through it is the person you already threw out of it *once*.
Save yourself the effort of having to do it a second time.
Short version: You’re too young to be giving her a second chance. Move on and find someone that will respect the effort you put into a relationship.
Long version: You are already having trust issues and you haven’t been broken up that long. How much worse is that going to get as time goes on?
To start, you doubt she will be successful in changing. That’s not trusting her to follow through on what she says she will do. You are still checking her location. That’s not trusting her to be where she says she’s going to be. You’re doubting yourself for giving her the option of a second chance so you don’t even trust your judgement here.
You felt less sure about breaking up after sleeping on it because your emotions had a chance to settle, but you also haven’t had a chance to truly examine the relationship from an unemotional standpoint. She was abusive towards you. She was rude towards you. She invalidated the things you did for her and the effort you put into the relationship. That means she was incredibly disrespectful of the relationship and you specifically. Why would you even entertain the possibility of letting all that happen for a second time?
And as for her location, the question to consider is what her cell reception is like when at work. Yes, location can be wrong but that’s usually just when cell service is bad in the spot the phone is in. Plus, 750-1000 feet is 2/10 of a mile. In terms of a city, that’s 2 city blocks. I could understand being off by a couple hundred feet, but not as much as she was off this morning. Unfortunately, I doubt you’ll ever know.
If it were me, I’d stop checking her location, stop checking up on her, and stop reaching out to her. You might even want to consider blocking her if you can’t trust her. It’s time to move on. You deserve better.
She is cheating. Other than That—–This relationship is toxic. Move on now.