Hi so, I (28f) have had this friend since preschool (28f). We grew up together and we were best friends for over two decades. But things have been continually rougher over the last many years as I feel like I’ve been taken for granted. I don’t get my calls or texts returned for long periods of time, and I just haven’t felt like an effort has been made in a long time. But meanwhile I’ve still been called the best friend the whole time.
I’m not completely without fault here. I have been a bit insensitive at the darker times in my life, but I feel like I’ve made a big effort to change. She hasn’t tho. And it’s been a long time since we started talking about these problems openly.
I’m omitting a lot here for the sake of brevity, because it’s all besides the point, which is this: I don’t know what to do.
I’ve tried fixing things and that just doesn’t work since she won’t put in the work. I’ve tried having a more casual friendship but even that she won’t hardly engage with. Signs point to that I should end the friendship, but when I try it always leads to a big sad drama and I end up trying to give her another chance. Meanwhile, I crave closure, so I can’t seem to just let us drift apart naturally. She’s been such a huge part of my life for so long.
I realize there’s no easy option for me but idk. Nothing seems doable.
I need advice.
1 comment
So she’s barely available and you need closure? What’s wrong with the obvious answer of treating her as a “friend you’re in contact with once in a while?”
What’s the necessity for cutting this off?
Seems like if you just let it go she can be a distant friend or a ‘nice memory’ from my childhood or whatever.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. People’s social circles have orbits, and those orbits can change over time. She can just be a distant one now, even though you used to be close many years ago. No need to blast her off to a remote galaxy!