**CONTEXT**: So I’m 21, and to start I’ve had lots of dates with lots of girls.. FWB and stuff but I feel like I’ve found the right one.
A couple nights ago I brought up the “what are we” talk by asking what she’s looking for out of seeing me. She basically said she’s looking for something serious and isn’t wasting her time or seeing anyone else. After I asked if she wanted to be exclusive.
I used the words “exclusive” and “official” interchangeably and she didn’t think they were quite the same and I explained how I used to think so too, but not anymore because being exclusive implies commitment, it’s possible to get cheated on in an exclusive relationship, and etc. But she said she’s fine being either with me and cuddled me even harder.
We agreed we should set some expectations and since we’re busy, I asked her how much she expects to see me before I graduate college. We then talked about the future ab when I get a job and how she wants to meet my friends. At the end, I asked if we’re on the same page and if I confused her, and she said she understands and that everything will work fine… we then slept.
**ISSUE**: So we’re definitely exclusive…. and I think we’re official? Either way, I’m not even sure if the specifics of it even matter.
However, I’ve NEVER had a real relationship and need advice. Am I supposed to magically act like a “boyfriend” overnight? Am I suppose to kiss her goodbye? Am I supposed to be more affectionate?
I want to, but I don’t know if this should be a conversation, or if this will just naturally come along?
In the talking stage, there’s usually a bit of mystery and that advice to get the girl of “don’t text back immediately. If she denies hanging out, and doesn’t follow up, then drop her. complimenting her too much will push her away.”
However, a committed relationship seems to be the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you do in the talking stage. I imagine you should generally be vulnerable, compliment her, give her the world, kiss her goodbye, ask her how her mornings and nights were, take being unable to hang with a grain of salt, because you already \*GOT\* the girl.
Once again, how should I act? Should I just expect things to happen naturally? Should I ask her how she expects me to be? Does a label mean I should automatically act like a “boyfriend” overnight? Should I act like how I was during the talking stage? Should I be worried now that I have got the girl?
**I want to go the distance with this girl, and I want to be a good partner. This first week though, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.**
1 comment
i assume you had to ask her out