What led you to sever ties with a particular friend?

28 comments

1. She said she thought disabled people weren’t human, to someone with a disabled sister, then said “she’s not, though; your sister isn’t human” :/

2. If you are his only friend, and he cancels last minute with I’m tired excuses, maybe worth just checking in on him that he isn’t depressed or getting really anxious about the situation.

3. Gave him £50 because he couldn’t afford food that week, he bought a lava lamp.

4. Was the one instigating the ‘hey mate, let’s grab a beer this week’ texts for about 6 months. Left it to him to do the next one.

   Been about a year without hearing from them now.

5. Depends on how friendly you are. If it’s out of character for someone I’ve known for a decade, then there might be something else going on.

   If it’s getting repetitive, and it’s normal for them, just don’t bother asking any more.

   ​

   In response to the question, the guy in question shagged my ex the week after we broke up. Not something good mates do.

6. 16 years old he stayed round mine as his nan passed away, he forced me to do things. Literally grabbed the back of my head and forced me.

   Years later after saying ‘what use are you as a friend if you won’t do that anymore’ I decided to cut him out completely.

   Soon after I put on a lot of muscle mass and started martial arts as to never be in that position again.

   Literally never said this to anyone ever outloud. Always wondered if I should but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything.

7. I’ve got a rule if I notice I’m the only person who ever reaches out after awhile I’ll stop and If I don’t hear from said person after about a month or two I cut them loose altogether, so yeah I’ve stopped talking to a few “friends” due to that.

8. After he voted for something I hate, got a personalised number plate and came out as anti-vax; I realised we have nothing in common.

9. She told a hilarious story about how she excluded her 4 year old from a family trip as they’d just spoil it, then was upset at their behaviour on their return, so she punished them ( again) .
   It was horrible and in my mind, abusive. I haven’t contacted them since, and won’t.

10. That behaviour sounds like they’ve got depression or something.

    Might be worth checking up on them

11. Had to disassociate myself from a long time friend of over a decade. He recelty got a job at a Direct Sales company which operates in a very cult-like atmosphere. He (and many, many others) work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week to make as many sales as possible under a ‘Management Training Programme’.

    Eventually this would lead to him owning his own direct sales company after reaching an arbitrary number of people recruited and sales within a week. The BBC have [covered](https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001g06l/spotlight-undercover-door-to-door-whos-getting-rich) this [extensively](https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001bgjz/the-dark-side-of-direct-sales). We all tried to warn him that it was a textbook pyramid scheme but he wouldn’t have it.

    We told him of the BBC docs and he replied ‘I’m so close to becoming manager that I don’t see how watching that would add any value to my life. You might as well stop trying to convince me.’ I am not having someone without an ounce of logic, common sense, critical thinking skills or rationality call me an idiot.

12. A group of friends really. Didn’t come to my wife’s funeral when I was widowed in my 30s, nor offered any help.

13. Realised there was a massive imbalance in our friendship and personalities – I’d immediately listen to 40 minutes worth of her voice notes at 3 am whereas she’d leave me on read for days, I invited her over to several of the houses I’ve lived at, cooked her meals etc but not a single time did she invite me over or anywhere really, she would forcibly involve me in incredibly toxic situations such as her body shaming someone at her uni out of hatred (to the point where, no joke, she got shirts made to make fun of this girl). Couple of things broke the camel’s back, notably her inviting herself over to my house two weeks after I was hospitalised for my mental health and ignoring me to talk to my boyfriend.. and then a couple weeks later finding out that in the past when we were all friends, she tried to essentially get with him on Halloween and offered to have him come to her house. Couldn’t really get past the fact that she had never invited me but could try that with my boyfriend.

14. If this friend is anything like myself, is there a chance they suffer from social anxiety? I may appear flighty to some of my friends…but the truth is I actually (and still can’t explain why?!) I dislike going out in public 99% of the time.

    Making arrangements weeks in advance, I think everything will be okay and I’ll be up for it. But, more often than not, I try to find an excuse to pull out…

15. My best friend was a girl I met in college. We used to meet up weekly for dinner and catch up, but over the years her personality began to change and she became really bitter and a bit like the Daily Mail personified. Still, she was my best friend, so we carried on.

    In my mid 20s I was having a tough time with a horrible job, I became really ill through stress and quit. I began temping but I’d taken a huge drop in income and was stressed about money. We were due to go out for dinner, and I said I was happy to go but it would need to be Wetherspoons or one of the local chain pubs that did cheap meals. She picked me up, declared she couldn’t possibly eat in one of those, and drove us straight to a steak house. I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, she had a starter with a massive steak, and then at the end she wanted to split the bill. The total lack of empathy, the moaning, and then that just tipped me over the edge. I wasn’t in a good place mentally, and I just wasn’t up to dealing with her, so I’m ashamed to say I ghosted her.

16. one just moaned about everything and it got too much i found it really deressing.

    The other nearly got us both arrested for not having a train ticket.

17. Shouted at me to shut up because he wanted to show me some stupid tiktok video. He’d done the same a few years previously and I’d told him then that I wouldn’t put up with it twice.

18. Had an argument about Jimmy Savile. Yes THAT Jimmy fucking Savile.

    She kicked me out of her house. I had always been the one to make up after arguments, but finally realised anyone thinking Saviles victims shouldn’t receive any compensation is toxic AF.

19. I was friends with a group at the university and we used to go to clubs & party together all the time. We’d go to concerts, etc. But, after graduation, I had a hard time getting a job & with their engineering degrees, they all got great jobs with great pay. So, I was struggling to get by on minimum wage and they invited me to dinner one time. I took public transport & a taxi to get the restaurant they picked (they all had cars by this point). It was an expensive steak restaurant so I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu: a salad and sparkling water. They all got steaks & cocktails. Well, they all decided it would be “fair” to split the bill evenly. Even though my part of the bill was a small fraction of the total, they expected me to chip in to help them pay for their meals. To avoid a scene, I paid up, but that one night out emptied my bank account. I never went out with any of them again.

20. Asked me not to talk about / mention my children or grandchildren after she had a massive fallout with her son (previously estranged and in a very strained relationship) I was really hurt and shocked, she thought it was a fair request? we didn’t speak for two years, back on friendlier terms now but will never be as we once were.

21. Cocaine. My best mate found it to be a personality crutch, I thought it turned him into a selfish dickhead.

22. No you’re not the arsehole. They aren’t much of a friend if they keep cancelling at the last minute

23. I had an old artist friend who was always broke, and lived in a bit of a pigsty.

    When I was in his neck of the woods (he lived on the other side of the country), I’d stay in a hotel and suggest we go out for a meal and a drink, “my treat” (rather than sit in his rather stinky flat – not that I ever said that).

    This went in for a couple of years – seeing him 2-3 times a year – and we would eat in a number of places. Pizza was popular, but also a pub that did wonderful fry-ups, a Thai place and a steak place.

    Then one visit he said he fancied a steak, but when we walked into town, rather than our usual place, he took us to a high end steak house. I didn’t think that much of it at the time, even though the bill was many times more than I’d usually spend on any meal.

    The next time, he felt like Chinese, and took us again to quite an expensive Chinese restaurant (in a town with many reasonably priced places). Then after that he wanted to do sushi, and the bill, with drinks, came to a few hundred quid, which wiped me out of spending money for that week.

    The next time I saw him, I said “Can we grab a pizza? I really don’t mind paying, but the last couple of places have been really expensive.”

    His reply – “Oh, you can afford it!”

    He then got narked that the place he had been planning to eat out in got vetoed by me. We ended up going for a steak in our regular place, and he sulked the whole time, and said I was being cheap.

    It was then that I realised he was simply taking advantage of me. I explained that the regular places we had been going to were just like the places I’d normally go to at home – meals costing £20-25, rather than £100-150. He had absolutely no idea what I could afford.

    The next time I was in town, we went out for a drink; no meal. He started ghosting me by email after that, so in the end, I stopped trying. Haven’t seen him for over 10 years.

24. Friends since 1988. Godparents to each others children. Spent a fortune to celebrate her 50th. Didn’t even come to mine or even send a card. Six years since I’ve seen her now.
    I had major life-saving surgery last year, and once she knew I’d survived, she didn’t contact me for 5 months after I’d decided to see how long it took.
    She didn’t send a card or present for my daughter’s 21st. I bought presents for her sons on theirs. She is in a much better financial situation than I am.
    When she contacted me, she didn’t even ask how I was.
    I answer any texts, but I will no longer contact her.
    I realise it was always me making the effort, and TBH, I’m too old and too ill to be arsed!

25. What if he has chronic fatigue syndrome, narcolepsy or any other health condition that causes tiredness

26. Lied about my son, which effected both mine and my sons mental health and when she got caught out lied about me

27. I’ve cut a friend off for that reason. Not in a ghosted sort of way but I’ll never make an effort to see them again. They were organising my stag do and cancelled *the day of*.

    I also recently cut out my absolutely best friend. We were best friends since high school, we lived together and did everything together. My husband got jumped by a mutual friend’s brother and when my husband went to the police it all started to get ugly and my best friend just simply refused to support my husband, and was completely spineless about the entire situation. I realised she’ll never stand up for what’s right if it means she’ll end up rocking the boat of her social standing in any way.

28. My constant suicidal thoughts and spiralling paranoia and other MH conditions got in the way of his upcoming birthday when I felt it was necessary to see my parents and get medical help asap. I even apologised but he was a proper cunt about it. I think he’s the only person I really truly hate and despise in the whole world and it’s been a good while now.