As the title says. I’m struggling to share a bed with my wife these days. And it sucks.
And the reason is even worse, she’s put on enough weight that our whole mattress now tilts to where she’s sleeping. I just can’t deal with sleeping on an angle, so I’ve been moving to the spare bed in the middle of the night. It’s honestly a massive relief to lay on something flat, and I’m getting restful sleep within minutes.
It’s also had effects in other parts of our lives. Being active and playing with the kids. She’s hot all the time. I have a motorcycle and would love to take her out on it, but by her own admission, she’s too heavy.
I can’t address her weight. She has struggled with it her whole life, and her family is larger. All sedentary with bang average eating habits. She’d sooner divorce me than address the issue. I feel like buying a bigger bed is a kop out.
What to do?
7 comments
> I feel like buying a bigger bed is a kop out.
If it works, it works.
Like, if you are unwilling to deal with a wife who is morbidly obese, that’s of course a whole other topic. But if simply being able to sleep well would be solved with a different bed… just get the bed. We have the technology.
You should obviously need a new mattress. Are you just going to let her continue sleeping on a mattress that doesn’t support her?
There is nothing wrong with separate beds. My grandparents would sleep in separate beds anytime they didn’t have sleepover guests.
And considering my grandfather passed in his sleep, saved my grandmother from waking to a dead spouse next to her in bed.
I also sleep in a separate bed some nights from my wife. Usually I will move when one of our snoring becomes too much for the other.
Keep the spark in the relationship.
We have a sleep number adjustable bed and each side is independent, because I sleep with my legs elevated. Two separate mattresses, we never even feel each other move.
Yikes, how fat is your wife?
What size bed? How old?
I know that sleep number beds and also memory foam beds (e.g. Tempurpedic) isolate different people completely. Like you could be on one side and someone jumping on the other wouldn’t impact you at all.
And getting a bigger bed isn’t a cop-out at all– I would never sleep in anything but a king.
Two beds put together. Viola