Even now i’m not remotely seeking one. I’ve only ever been in long term relationships and I like taking care of one person. I definitely get deeply attached quickly to a specific person and stress myself holding it together. I guess I just wanna know if there’s something off about my mentality. I don’t wanna put people through me if I have issues that I’m not recognizing. Sometimes it gives me trust issues because it feels like everyone around me has had or wants casual sex.
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I was like that most of my life. I don’t think it’s weird. I have learned to back up a bit, have reasons to trust partners and only give to someone who is also comfortable in an equally giving relationship.
Find what works for you and be proud of who you are.
You are perfectly valid only wanting sex with you and one serious partner. Because at the end of the day really comes down to you what you’re looking for in a relationship.
Google demisexual and let us know if you find yourself identified
I don’t think that’s weird at all. Sometimes I’ve had fantasies about doing something casual butt never actually did it, all of my dating life (I’m 55M)! I’ve always been evaluating potential dates for LTR prospects, and never went through with any dates that that didn’t seem possible.
Bottom line, what really turns me on more than anything else is a deep connection to my partner.
There are different attachment styles….some are mixed in with anxiety. If you’re looking for a label (they never truly fit) try on “demisexual” to see how that feels.
Nah, that’s quite normal
Pretty damn normal. Even if it wasn’t normal who cares. You’re allowed to have a unique attachment style, and obviously there are lots of people who enjoy long term committed relationships.
There are lots of people of whom this is true. It’s fine to want more connection before you get sexually intimate.
Casual sex isn’t for me either. I wouldn’t date people who are not open to an actual LTR.
That said, it looks like you are hinting at having some issues. I would try to get those worked out first. Learn how to recognize you own problems and how you react to them first. It’s about knowing yourself first.
I think this is where gender bias screws us up. You will be judged as a man for not wanting casual and I am judged for wanting it as a woman.
It’s fine to want whatever feels right for you, don’t worry about being weird.
I’ve been in 3 relationships all at least a year and have had no other sexual partners. I think I prefer this way