I (27f) recently noticed my husband (37m) is following a local high school girl on IG, she is 17. He likes her selfies, especially of her in bikinis/sports bras/low-cut tops. She follows him too. When I asked about it he said he knows her from the gym and I’m overthinking it.
He has liked pictures from as far back as when she was 16 it looks like. He is very involved in our gym due to his job so he often follows women in great shape but never someone so young. None of our friends follow her or are familiar with who she is.
5 comments
Hahahah, if you’re asking the question, you already know the answer. He’s just waiting for the opportunity.
take him at his word unless you see something that worries you (e.g. he is sending her sexual texts, you notice a change in his schedule, or he is acting differently without explanation.)
he *may* be enjoying these in a sexual way but as long as he isn’t actually crossing the line into something more with her or anyone else, it’s just a way to get his engine running. if it increases his libido, take advantage of it.
otoh, if he is acting differently or there are gaps in his schedule that he can’t (or won’t) explain, then i’d worry.
all that said, my feeling has always been, if you can’t trust the person you are with, why are you with them? if you don’t or can’t trust what he is saying, then it may be time to start thinking about what the next steps are.
That’s suspect. I’m 36 and the only woman I follow under the age of 21 is my cousin.
That’s a red flag and then some. If he’s just liking and not commenting then maybe it’s harmless. If he’s got a solid following himself and he’s just helping her establish one, perhaps. Still, it’s normal to think it’s creepy.
I don’t want to speak too much for your husband, but you asked “why would you follow 16-18 year olds” and since I have, I’ll give my reasons.
I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn’t necessarily jump to anything wild right off the bat for him. It *could be*, sure, but it could be equally that it’s nothing. When I was 25 I worked in a larger retail store at a time before Instagram was big, Snapchat didn’t exist, etc, and Facebook was the hot social media place. We had about 100 coworkers at the store. Many were early twenties, a bunch were in high school, some in their thirties, and there were several retirees that worked with us too. Broad mix. Anyways, at work, we all (well, most) were friends, regardless of the age discrepancy. I worked there for ten years, but being friends with high schoolers and retirees wasn’t odd to any of us there. I had most people added on Facebook or Instagram by the time I was leaving that store. I “liked” most posts from people I knew. Anyways, I would be bummed out if my wife, who I met when I was 33, expressed concerns about me “following a high schooler” with the implication I’m a creep. The point of social media felt like it was a place to add the people you knew in real life and the “like” button is a way to say “thumbs up, good job, we recognize you” when they post something.