I’ve (23F) always been asked that dreadful question “why are you so quiet?”
Because I literally don’t know what to say and I wasn’t aware that I’m supposed to say anything.
But now of course, it’s been a few years since I graduated. All my friendships are pretty much gone. Especially after I became a mother.
I feel that it’s been drilled into my brain that if I don’t have anything particularly important to talk about, I just shouldn’t talk. And I have a strong feeling it stems from my childhood, because I was a chatterbox, the majority of my childhood was people telling me to shut up and that I was annoying.
I don’t really mind being a quiet person but it has put a strain on my relationships with everyone in my life when it comes to friends, family, significant others. I feel that it’s almost unpleasant to be around me. I don’t know what I should do anymore, I just don’t want to be that person that always creates an uncomfortable silence.
5 comments
please be yourself! sometimes its also wiser to only speak when you really wanna say anything 🙂
Silence isn’t always uncomfortable! Nor should it be. It allows for thoughts to process. I used to think I was annoying for chatting too much, but now that I’m older (32) I feel good about chatting about what I want, while working on active listening. Sometimes the silence it great 🙂
I am also the person that doesn’t say anything often and to others it comes off as anger. What I have found is put your quietness to work and let friends come and go; if they are ok with the fact that you are a really quiet person they are quality friends and will stick around! Hope this helps, I’m sorry you are feeling stuck.
Every communication takes two people, you can only take half the responsibility. Good communicators know how to talk about nothing: try the FORD method and look for people who like to listen more.
i have gotten this question multiple times. just give the person who asked it an intense glare after they ask this question.