I am 27 years old and I am starting to go on dates, my friend says that I should change my style and try to be more sexy and seductive because at my age being shy and cute looks weird and pedo-bait. I’m not trying to act childish at all, I’m just very shy and people get that impression because I’m small and I look a little younger than my age, it’s not something I do on purpose, it’s just the way I am.
There’s also the fact that I am a virgin, and I only want to have relationships with my future husband, my friend says that virginity is out of fashion and that at my age it is a sign that something is wrong, so I should give up my idea of staying a virgin and never tell a man that I am a virgin because it will disgust him. I tried to dress and do my make up more dramatic and “sexy” like she told me, but I feel like a clown.
She has so much more experience in dating and she’s already married, but she was raised in a more liberal household than me, I wasn’t allowed to date until 19, and even then I wasn’t much interested in dating.
But she’s a woman, so I would like to know the opinion of men, is it strange that at my age I behave shy and innocent, and that my style is more cute than sexy? Like I said, I’m not trying to get anything by behaving like that, it’s not an act (because she says it giving “pick me” vibes) I’m just like that.
7 comments
I think you should be yourself so you find someone that matches your personality. If you love who you a tree the person you are with should love that too
Don’t force yourself to have sex before you are ready. When you meet the right person, it will just happen.
Men like different things. I don’t think most of this is a major turn-off for men in general so I say: Just be yourself. That said, the staying virgin until marriage thing is going to exclude 99% of men. Because most men don’t want to get married to have sex. So you’re essentially stuck with men who are religious themselves and also want to wait until marriage. This makes dating much more limiting but not impossible
Your friend’s view on this is just 1 person’s perspective. And she’s also not a guy lol. The right guy will like you for who you are. Also being shy, one of the most important things is to make yourself feel comfortable so that you feel confident on a date. And if that means continuing to dress ‘cute’ and not ‘sexy’, then do it! If you try to mold yourself into what your friend thinks you should be, your dates may get a misconception of who YOU really are. Best to just be your true authentic self, and remember that going on the date is to determine if you like them, not if they like you. Good luck! 🙂
No it isn’t and no it’s not pedo-bait or w/e your obviously very traumatized married friend says.
You should dress comfy and nice to the extent you feel like. Making yourself out to be somethibg and someone your not is gonna put a lot of pressure on you and will lead to false hopes and untrue expectations from the men or women you date, ’cause it wont really be you.
So being shy and cute has its own charm, and men prefer many different things. I, for example, get excited at the thought of meeting someone shy and cute because in a way I feel like I’d me more comfortable being myself around her. But the nature of being shy makes you less likely to meet someone because it might be socially hard to approach or talk to someone. Instead of pretending to be someone you’re not, try to work on social skills so you can grow more comfortable in a social setting. Things like conversation starters, body language, how to keep a conversation going, making sure both people take turns talking, expressing excitement about your passions, asking “why?” to understand your partner and transition to deeper motives and values, etc. This way, you can be yourself confidently without pretending to be sexy and seductive.
You absolutely should be honest about virginity status, as it is a deal breaker for a lot of people. And whatever you are and how you choose to dress and act is fine, dont misrepresent yourself or youll end up with someone who doesnt like you for you, theyll like you for who they think you are.
Sounds like a crappy and controlling friend honestly. Losing your virginity is a big deal to most people; she probably regrets the circumstances under which she lost hers and is jealous of you.
Dress and act the way you want. Seriously, fuck her.