– My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We see each other at least twice a week.
– He said 2-3 times is the sweet spot for him.
– But to me, I wish I could spend more time together (at least every other day), have sex more often, cuddle, etc.
– I am wondering if we are just incompatible.
9 comments
Have you tried asking why he doesn’t want to see you more often?
He’s right. You know that good feeling where you miss him a little and look forward to seeing him? He’s giving you that every week.
I would recommend just talking to him. Some people are just more introverted, so social interactions every day can be draining. Maybe what you are doing has gotten samey, so he’ll say that he would be fine with more time, but just wants to do different stuff. Either way, a conversation is the best answer.
I think it depends on the situation. I’m currently single, but with my ex it varied from 6 days one week, to none the next. It was basically whenever we were both free, we would be together. Sometimes I had an intense week, sometimes she did. Most weeks were a minimum of 2 evenings since we planned workouts/active things with each other. For us, it was hiking and climbing. Climbing once a week with friends, once a week with just us, and hiking most weekends.
So maybe your partner really just has that much free time. So it isn’t about that they don’t want to spend more time with you, it’s that spending more time with you means losing other things that are important to them. They have to budget their time between all the important things, and they feel that 2-3 days a week for you is what they can budget for you. If you expect them to increase that, it means changing who they are into someone else.
I see my partner once in 4 months. If i were in your place, whatever your are getting will be more than enough at this time. But it’s just me.
Depending on how introverted he is, and as you’ve only been dating almost a year I wouldn’t read into it too much. If you want to see him more often you should ask him about that
He’s a man. You’re a woman. Men and women are inherently incompatible.
Every relationship is different. Every person is different. I like the 2-4 times a week like your bf. It gives me time to still see my friends and to get the things done that I need to in my day to day.
As the relationship progresses I like to slowly increase it. Like 1-2 a week for the first few months then more as time goes on. Scheduling differences can make an impact on that though and each person has lots of different things to balance. And sometimes you or your partner needs to get some extra time if they have something rough going on and they need comfort.
I’m very wary of a relationship consuming my life so I make sure to make time for as many different things as I can.
Just talk to your boyfriend and tell him what you’ve told us. Just maybe leave out the incompatible thing until you get an answer because that’s just going to put him on the defense.
He’s probably cheating or not truly interested.
When I got With my gf, by the first year I was wanting to see her every other day at least and we lived 40 mins away. I could be wrong though, just try communicating that to him.