The title explains the entire situation, but here is some background!
I moved to a new country more than a year ago, and I was introduced to this girl via chat so she can help me sette. She was quite helpful when I asked her some information and was actually check on me from time time to see if I setteled in well!
At the beggening, I had no interest in her, because she was just a friend who I ask online for information and I thought I am too young for her and she also me reated me as a young brother. We were only talking about life in the new country and most of our conversations were really casual. One day, she asked if I am seeing anyone and basically explained that dating will also need adapting. Anyways, I told her no, talked about my past experience and she talked about hers and that’s it. But we started talking more frequently, sharing relationship reels, sometime reel with sexual references, etc. I was signle and I thought I thought I will vibe with it, and she was also.
Lately, we started talking even more and one time I found myself thinking about her a lot! I thought about it a little and decided to tell her about it and texted her that I like her and wanted to pursue a potential relationship with her, and asked her out! Note that at this point, we never met after more than a half year of texting. She said yes, and was really happy and we started texting each other sweet messages for a week until our date!
On the date, I realsed she was way shorter than me and she is little different from I have seen on her pictures. I wasn’t as attracted to her as I thought I am in my head tbh, but she looked great! I can tell she really put a lot of effort to show up this pretty and I am an asshole for thinking this way and I felt I needed to humble by myself by thinking “Don’t be asshole, she is really trying as well and I can’t shut this down 5 minutes after I saw her, besides I am not a model, give this a chance!”, which I did! I made sure we have a lovely date, she prepared all the date but I was really wanted to make her happy as she is a lovely person. She took me to this romantic restaurant at the and things get really intimate, we started kissing and cuddling for almost an hour! and she texted me that she had a really lovely time!
On my way back home, I started feeling like shit and that am a horrible person! I don’t think that I can build an emotional connection with nor a long standing relationship with. I feel like there is something missing with her! I think that most of our converation were sexual before without beeing direct towards each other, and that’s just it! I am a type who want to be bestfriends first and I can’t see that with her as well. I don’t know what to do! Even the next day, I do not think about her as I used to, nor I text her… I feel like I jumped the gun here and I don’t know how I explain this without being hurtful and after having a that great date!!! Should I wait a couple days? Or tell her ASAP! Please help!!
TLDR: I texted a girl and told her I like her(32f), met her we vibed a little but not enough for me to be with her. Help!!
1 comment
Organize your thoughts and then tell her that your friendship is really valuable to you and you think she’s a great person but that you just don’t think you have chemistry romantically in person. Do so as soon as you can articulate that, so that you don’t waste her time.
However, in the future be more self aware when you are romanticizing the potential of who someone could be with you before you’ve ever been on a date, much less met in person. It feels a little silly and shallow that little things like you imagined her to be taller bothered you that much.