Just to add some context me and my gf have been together for around 5 years and are in a happy and stable relationship for the most part. My gf had a long and complicated relationship with her ex starting in school. She has told me several times how negligent and childish he was and that she’s so happy I’m not like him.
Anyway fast forward two years and she tells me they’re on good terms and back in regular contact. She asks me if this is ok to which I tell her I’m fine with it because I trust her and I’m not about to police who she can and can’t talk to. She was also very upfront about it all, I didn’t have to find out through anyone else or by looking over her shoulder so I didn’t find it concerning as they probably were just catching up and exchanging stories.
The issue is that this was years ago and she’s only increased the amount of time she spends in contact with him since. Texts, phone calls and video calls are a daily occurrence and at this point I feel like she talks to him more than me. She hasn’t stopped her affection for me or changed her behaviour in any noticeable way so I can’t say I have any concrete evidence that it’s any more than two old friends hanging out.
I guess I feel a little insecure since she has pointed out (albeit indirectly) that they were much more sexually active than we are and I have always been concerned about the fact that her libido is like two or three times what mine is.
Am I reading to much into this or should my alarm bells be ringing?
1 comment
She’s given you time in the past to show any concerns about their conversations. I’m sure she’d be open to reapproaching that conversation. Many people are not comfortable with their partner talking to their ex, and I think that’s a fair boundary to setup.