Hey everyone!
I wanted to hear everyone’s opinion on this and what anyone in a similar situation did before.
So during the pandemic this girl[23F] who I[22M] had a bit of a crush with sent me an email asking for help for a class. We exchanged numbers and vibed really well. We were texting non stop during the pandemic, had some video calls, but never really took it further because my dad was working the front lines and her family was high risk. Eventually when things started to open up again she graduated and moved and a few months after I move to a completely different country.
Now, it haunts me from time to time the idea of what could have been. I’ve been on a few dates and I haven’t felt the connection I felt with her. I never suggested taking any other steps so I know it might just be an idea on my head. But we’ve been texting each other for three years now. Do you think it could be a good idea to share my feelings over a call? Would you declare it a lost cause? What would you do?
2 comments
The fact that you guys have been in contact for so long and have chemistry is special, but not unique. As much as you might not believe it, there’s other people out there who can give you those same feelings, even if it might take awhile to come across them. I like to remind myself that it’s just brain chemicals being released that make us feel warm and fuzzy towards a person.
That being said I do think it could be good to let her know how you feel, if for no other reason than to get it off your chest. It seems like there’s not a real way for you guys to be together at the moment, but there wasn’t anything you could’ve done to control the situation so don’t be mad at yourself. Sometimes we meet people we like and the timing just unfortunately is not good, but that doesn’t mean all is lost. Telling her could potentially give you some closure, or plant a seed for if your paths ever cross again (though don’t get too attached to that idea).
Three years is a long time to carry on a friendship like this — virtually. This is longer than some face to face relationships and marriages.
Ask yourself this: Can you live with knowing you didn’t take a chance, the “what could have been”?
The worse that can happen is she is appalled and wants absolutely nothing to do with you. Like not even stay friends. Wouldn’t it be better you know this *now* rather than 5-10 years doing this?
Wouldn’t you rather know now that way you can move on if the feelings aren’t mutual?
Or should could be really into you, too, but is waiting for you to say something.
Who knows?
I would say something if I were in your shoes. Don’t waste any more time.