As the title says.
I met a co-worker at my job (names and company will not be disclosed) when an issue had arose and I needed help from her department. After we had solved the issue we had stayed behind and chatted for a while, and because I felt like we connected and had similar interests, decided to build a friendship with this person.
3 weeks in, she invited me out for drinks. Not sure how we landed on the conversation about race (we were both about 3-4 drinks in) but she had made a comment about only sexually enjoying darker skin men ( I will leave your imagination to fill in the details lol) I had jokingly made the eww comment, and next thing I know, she blows up on me, saying that I’m being disgusting to being biased towards my own race (we are both African American, however I am mixed with Caucasian). I was trying to explain that it was a joke but she kept being more and more aggressive and assertive that I was racist. Seeing that this conversation could escalate to something worse, I immediately told her I was not feeling the vibe, I paid for the drinks, and left the restaurant.
I waited until the next day to reach out to clear the air, but noticed she had blocked me. I don’t use social media, so the only other way of contact would be at work, and with things being awkward I was wondering if I should just end things as they are (we work on two completely different sides of the building and separate shifts, she just so happen to be doing overtime the night I met her) or should i wait for her to reach out to offer closure and clear up the misunderstanding?
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To add a little more detail, she started off by saying that she’s dated different types of races. I told her that because of my environment and bringing (grew up in a rough neighborhood) I’ve mainly only dated African American women. She then had asked if I had dated darker skinned women, and I told her no, because it wasn’t my preference. That was when she made the comment about darker skinned men being better in bed (speaking on their “tool”) and that’s when I jokingly made the eww comment. Mind you I may have been starting to feel my shots, but I didn’t say anything disrespectful, at least not to my knowledge. Outside of saying that I was being biased, she was stating that I clearly had issues and that it was a turn off to her. I tried to defend the statement by saying that just because I have a dating preference doesn’t make me a racist, that’s when she became more assertive that I needed therapy and counseling because I’m clearly being biased. That’s where I got confused. Didn’t know having a dating preference in today’s time makes you racist?
At this point I’m cool with not pursuing the friendship with her. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and preference, I just wanted to know would it makes things more awkward if i didn’t end things on a more positive note if I ran into her at work again?
What was the punchline to that “joke”?