I’ve noticed when I work a summer job, I have at least one older woman that is one of my co-workers who will be incredibly mean to me to the point where I wanna cry. In addition, they also think that I’m a dumb yet pretty teenage girl and they treat me like it, when in reality I’m in my early 20’s and in university. Why do some older women treat me like this?
43 comments
Jealous they are old and you’re young.
Power trippin’. They think they’re older and that somehow gives them a right to look down on you.
But here’s the thing, right? You’re in university and they’re not. They’re the ones needing to work a seasonal job. I don’t want to heavily assume here, but generally that doesn’t say great things about how their life has panned out.
They’re angry. Bitter. Resentful that life hasn’t gone how they perhaps envisioned.
Then they see you, this young person who is just starting out and is in comparison, “bright eyed and bushy tailed” and they feel that swell of everything they didn’t have and become jealous.
Of course, alternatively, the could genuinely dislike you. Maybe you pissed in their Cheerios?
Additionally, they could just act that way towards everyone. So you’re off the hook!
But, in any case, whichever scenario it turns out to be, how people treat you generally has little to do with *you* and everything to do with *them*.
lol “why are these old hos jealous of me?”
Oh girl. Buckle up. I’m in my 30s and still experiencing this.
Everywhere you go, any place you work, will 100% have a grumpy older woman who let herself go years ago and every time she sees you it’s a reminder of what she doesn’t have.
She could eat better and work out, but she’d rather pick on you.
I’m just glad at my current job it’s only one — I had to deal with an entire posse of them at a previous job.
It’s amazing how much thy can hurt you, if you let them. IDGAF anymore, instead I take great pleasure in wearing cute outfits and flaunting it in front of them. Eat your heart out, Jessica.
… why are they always named Jessica?!
I am much older and deplore that! I aim to regard others of all ages with respect! I particularly love to give encouragement to young people. I know how bad it fells to be treated that way at any age. Do some pampering on yourself when you are feeling that way. You will feel better and rise again ! You are unique and amazing! While they are just miserable deplorable people!
Is it the majority or just a few?
Hate working with older women and so glad to know I’m not crazy for it lmao. I always feel like older women try to bully me )):
Get used to it. 20m working blue collar. Everyone is 30s and up. They see me as a complete joke and a dumb kid. I’ve switched several jobs and nothing changed.
As someone with experience.. Don’t you dare cry or act like they’re getting to you. Don’t even discuss how it makes you feel with anyone on that job who will go back & tell them. Don’t give them that power. Lean harder into everything you’ve got going for you & be the best you can be. Be even more cute, more happy, more educated & more successful little sis. Let them stay mad, cause they will regardless. It’s not you, it’s what they have done with themselves & what they wish they could change. It’s not your place to teach them to be a better person. You sure can teach them you’re not the one to mess with though.
Laugh in their faces & clock out with a skip in your step.
Also, if you haven’t already, start looking for jobs where you can put your degree to use. If your current employer is good enough, start looking for higher positions & discuss with your manager the steps to get into them. Can’t hear that old bitter fart with all those better things going on.
100% jealousy. I’m not a woman, but older men do this to me as well. They mad they’re all wrinkly and I’m not. Take it as a compliment if you can.
Right?! like wtf. At one of the local shops all the staff are women in their 50s-60s and they all give me really shit customer service everytime i go there. they don’t seem to do the same to the other customers.
As a 34 year old who is nice to younger females I will say that because they haven’t healed or evolved in their older age so they take out their missed opportunities of youth on you for just being young. Try not to let it affect you, it’s way more about themselves than it is about you
thats weird bc ime, being a pretty girl, i always had older women be super nice to me. idk what these comments about them being jealous are coming from.
This happens to every woman tbh
I’m in that older lady group. Not mean, just age wise. That old biddy who is mean to you? She was a mean girl when she was a teenager, she was a nasty PTO mom when her kids were little, and now she is being mean to the young gals because they are not as sure of themselves and are easier targets. And she’s probably a little jealous of your youth and beauty as well. Try not to engage with her, and if there is another lady her age around, befriend THAT lady. Once she realizes that you are kind and on the ball, and that the old witch is being mean to you, chances are she will act as buffer for you.
Tbh some of the rudest people I’ve ever interacted with were middle aged + women…
Just catty and demeaning for no reason! Like bc they got treated like shit in their day they keep treating young girls like it instead of the opposite.. infuriating.
Example, Was in a grocery store once and was told by what I thought was a cute old lady, “why honey, you must be cold with such little clothing on! U need to cover up!” – I had an oversized long sleeve shirt and soccer shorts underneath u just couldn’t see bc shirt was so big…. and in Arizona so not cold lol.
Also worked at golf courses and those ladies YEESH catty, would complain if you breathed wrong. Would rather deal with the old dudes hitting in u then the women.
Now I’m over generalizing cuz some ladies are rad but sadly too many still trying to judge & tear u down instead of build u up
Oh my lord, I’m in my fifties and it happened to me when I was young. I am so sorry that happens to you. I think that some people are just bitter that their life didn’t turn out like they hoped. Just to remember not to become those people when you get older.
So much fun to fuck with them though.
“Susan, you know that’s not polite. Susan, that’s not how we talk to one another. Did you leave your manners at home today Susan? Susan, please communicate in a mature and professional manner like the grown woman you are.”
When they’re acting like petulant children, you speak to them as children.
Aside from being jealous of your youth. They are bitter because they are old enough to be your mother yet have to work as your co-worker. They think their too old and too good for the job so they need a way to impose “seniority” to make them feel better about themselves
Sometimes people pass the trauma they received on to others. It’s no excuse, but it plays out that way. If you don’t break the chain, it just gets passed around
I’m 30 and this is still happening to me. Just get used to assholes being assholes in life. Good luck.
Some people are jealous and take their frustrations out on others to cope with their insecurities. They may see your boisterous and youthful age as a reminder in what they are conditionally not allowing themselves to experience, being more accepting and open with themselves.
Oh ffs, enough with the jealousy comments. Some people just aren’t very nice, end of story. It’s a very sexist stereotype to say that because OP is young and self proclaimed attractive and the other people involved are female that they are jealous of her youth and beauty. You’ve all been watching too much Disney+. I’m 33 and in the military and sometimes I have to be ‘mean’. I don’t discriminate between men and women but god forbid if it happens to be a girl younger than me or more attractive than me…I guess I’m just old and jealous and bitter? It’s one thing for men to say things like this but as women we shouldn’t be so quick to accuse our gender of being so weak and desperate that they can’t bear to be in the presence of a young woman…it’s not helpful at all
I honestly don’t know why older women are like this. I went through it went I was younger too, and now that I’m older I am even more perplexed why they acted that way. Some women are just “mean girls” reguardless of age and keep bullying them. Don’t let them know it’s getting to you, even though I’m sure it’s hard. Try to stand up for yourself in a professional yet stern way (and be prepared for them to play the victim). At least you can live with the fact knowing you aren’t purposefully making someone miserable just because (as they are)
All younger women are very nice to me🥹
Because I’m sure you’ve been raised right with an instilled notion to respect your elders, I would like to also inform you that there is NO age limit on being an asshole. You would think that adults would know better. NOPE. Some women never leave the high school mentality. They’ve most likely always been miserable. Kill them with kindness, but it is ok to be rude if someone is making you uncomfortable.
Honestly, I would be interested in hearing your coworkers perspective as well.
Mean girls don’t grow up. Cya emails and conversations are your friend. Like others have said don’t let on that they upset you eventually they will get bored. Don’t be their toy.
I just had a mean girl at work make the shipping department repack a 300 peice order because she didn’t want to look stupid.
When I was 22-26 I literally looked like I was 12. I was 98 pounds, thin as a rail, had long hair with bangs, and since my face is kind of close together, it made me look like I had a baby face.
Not one person believed I was a adult. Most people talked to me like I was a kid (like in a slow baby talk way to “help” me). My brother used to laugh his ass off at this. People were rude to me too though, thinking I was a child. They literally treated me like a kid all the time, and I hated it. Being rude. The funny thing was sometimes I would tell them to cut it out and this look of shock went over them. Because they thought I was a shy little girl, when I wasn’t.
Looking back I think they were just jealous at the time (I don’t even like writing that because it’s so ridiculous that people are like this). But it’s true sadly. I mean I’m older now, but people can really be that shallow and rude. This one woman always used to make me cry. She was nasty to me for no reason trying to “help” me but she was extremely mean.
That if you look young for your age they will treat you badly. Don’t listen to them. I am now 36 and look 36, so I would just ignore them or tell them to cut it out, and be happy you don’t look old.
Many people feel bad about themselves. Some people deal with this problem by trying to bring others down to level that they feel they are at. So that they can think “I may be awful, but at least I am not as bad as her”
The best thing to do is feel sorry for them, a little bit sad that their life is so miserable, and don’t give them any power. Literally keep a score board in your head. If every time you encounter them, you walk away laughing, that is a point to you. If you walk away feeling sad or angry, that is a point to them.
Just started happening to me , im 40+. Just mad about your energy and they like to be in control of every little thing. That is what my sceen lools like.
I do document the abuse and talk about with my other work mates, who agree with me, they is jerk.
The world is full of people trying to make themselves feel better by hurting others.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Sadly some people in an office atmosphere are like this. You just come are a easy victim for her. Keep track and document her actions and either tell your chain of command or go to HR.
These people can completely undermine the direction of the office. She needing training to be a better co-worker.
It happens at all ages to people of all ages unfortunately. Learn everything and then move on. If you are lucky like me eventually go someplace and set the tone for a better work culture- you will get to be the example.
In one job I was the new person and to make it worse I used to look really young for my age. The queen of the copy room started making every request of mine a hassle. I had enough and turned the table on her, faced her directly and said sternly, “You seem to have a problem with me. Do we need to discuss this?” When I called her bluff she backed down and never tried to bully me again. I don’t know if this would work for you, but it may be worth a try.
I’d also say jealousy but it’s not the only thing, this girl has learned that this benefits her especially if most girls that she treats like this don’t stand up for themselves, so she can offload a lot of her dissatifaction and stress on you while keeping you below her so it raises her confidence too among other things, I don’t think a lot of women are directly confrontational, so she’ll never learn that her behavior is dysfunctional outside of her view.
There’s a stereotype of bullies that they are unhappy, unloved, a father that beats them,etc.. and while stereotypes shouldn’t be believed there’s always a source of truth in it. Pain makes them inflict pain most of the times.
I’ve read a lot of the comments and I agree that’s it’s most likely jealous but there’s also a slim chance that you’re being rude, or obnoxious or something of the like. It’s probable just jealousy but better to check yourself while you’re at it…. always room to grow.
This is how it will be for the rest of your life girl. I’m 28 and every single job I have worked for this has happened. At my current job (I’ve been there for 3 yrs) it was bad in the beginning but now they will not dare treat me that way because I stood up for myself and I’m outspoken on how we should treat others. Stand your ground girly they’ll get over it or they might not just don’t let it bother you.
Think of this way most people who are mean are projecting the only thing they actually know, themselves, on to you. How someone else treats you tells you more about them then it does about you. They were probably young and clueless at your age and project that on to you. I suggest is this, everyone has a good story to tell and why not get them to tell you theres. Then you can use that information you learn from them to not be like them someday when you are the older women in this transaction.
It’s difficult to know without more information (what mean things does she do?), but maybe she has a superiority complex. Like prejudice where she judges you based on your age, rather than your actions.
It’ll pass. You’ll get old too.
Old women did the same to me when I was younger and cuter. I laughed. Then I was nice to everyone and got good at my job.
I’m old now and don’t do it to other people. My life is better because of that.
I once had this happen to me. What it came down to was that it stemmed ultimately from self hatred. Doesn’t make it excusable. But it makes it make sense.
Because its a 50+ year old woman who never learned how to be a decent human. Its a lot more common than you think.
Accept that at least half of all humans are like this and you won’t take it so hard when it happens. There are awful people everywhere. Just don’t let them have power over you.