Is it okay to tell people you are lonely or will that just make them pity you.

14 comments

1. Most people will find it offensive if you say something negative relating to yourself unless prompted, so its probably not good to say

2. Obviously, context matters for why you would say it.

3. Loneliness is a human need like hunger or thirst. It is natural to feel lonely at times. Feel free to express your social needs to your friends who may help you. Everyone experiences loneliness.

   [This video is a good resource on loneliness.](https://youtu.be/n3Xv_g3g-mA)

4. It’s fine to express your emotions, especially if you’re not doing it TO get pity.

   If you’re lonely, that’s fine. It’s fine to tell your friends you’re lonely.

5. I think you can express it in a way that doesn’t result in a pity reaction. We all have loneliness at one time or another….Maybe something like “I am trying t be a little more social lately…” or “I am working on prioritizing being around friends and family lately because I have found myself getting into a bit of a funk”. I think there is a way to word it that is relatable without seeming pathetic. We literally all go through this… to your near and dear I think it is 100% ok to say exactly how you feel and express your needs. To newer people.. I would say choose your wording a bit more carefully.

6. I wouldn’t say it’s not okay. Some people will pity you and some will not. Choose wisely who you choose to share this information with is my best suggestion.

7. It depends 100% on how you say it. Can I ask, why do you feel the need to say “I’m lonely” rather than “hey it’s been too long, let’s hang out?” In one situation, you’re communicating a problem that they then have to solve for you… in the other you’re communicating a problem that you yourself are solving (no burden on them).

   If they don’t want to hang out with you, “I’m lonely” just guilts them into seeing you. Not good. If you say “hey it’s been too long, let’s hang out” and they don’t want to, it’s chill.

   If you need someone to talk to about it I’d recommend a therapist maybe.

   I’d also recommend finding new friends rather than trying to hang out with friends who don’t put effort forward to hangout with you.

8. If they feel pity don’t be their friends

9. You’re rolling the dice. Besides pity, you could also get some condescending advice, or possibly people acting like it’s your fault.

10. People don’t care and nothing will change!

    You may look a weirdo to them

11. In my experience I wouldn’t do it. It tends to put people off unless they understand the feeling and even then it still puts people off. Unfortunately feelings like that aren’t really discussed a lot.

12. What do you want to achieve by telling them that you are lonely?

    Do you want them to pity you, free up their schedules for you, invite you somewhere?

13. Its better to try to improve upon yourself and reflect on why you are lonely and what type of people you want to attract into your life and then work to become that type of person that will attract people.

14. Do not do this with a stranger