Me (22F) and my bf (27M) have been together for a while. We moved in together 6 months ago and we were the happiest. Considered “couple goals” by our friends, madly in love with each other, only ever had eyes for each other. I had never been that happy before and never felt that way for someone.
A few weeks ago, we went out with some other people and the party lasted until 2am. I got drunk but he got blacked out drunk. I never saw him like this.
But what I can’t come back from is the fact he flirted with another girl while sitting next to me, touched each other’s hair and played with it, complimented each other, …he turned his back on me to talk to her, like even moved his chair.
I discussed it with him in the morning and he immediatly admitted having flirted. He said it wasn’t him and he hates himself for doing that, didn’t even feel attracted but the attention felt nice and entertained her back because he was drunk. He said he barely remembers it but knows he did something wrong. He has been begging me, bought me the biggest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen, said he would do anything to keep me because “I am the one”. He keeps crying and looks desperate. He gave up on drinking since. We talked a few times since and he said he refuses to give up on us.
I told my friends, and some of them said he was an asshole but it shouldn’t lead to a break up if i love him, that it was a mistake. I don’t want to let him go, I don’t know what this thing meant, it never happened and was so unexpected. He ruined everything.
I know the flirting is not even that bad, it’s the fact it happened in front of me and that it humiliated me. It’s the fact I always had to initiate sex and intimacy with him, tried to understand when he said he was too anxious or depressed…but is not too anxious or depressed to flirt with another girl.
I need advice. Should I believe him when he says it didn’t mean anything?
2 comments
He was blackout drunk, he admitted his mistake, and apologized. What else do you want? If you’re this insecure then perhaps relationships aren’t for you.
There’s a little snippet of this that makes me think something a bit bigger is going on – “it’s the fact I always had to initiate sex and intimacy with him, tried to understand when he said he was too anxious or depressed’
Do you get the emotional support and love you need from this person in general?