(Throwaway because this is too personal to put on main)
I’m 22f and a virgin. Unlike others I never had an interest in sex growing up. When my friends were talking about the guys they slept with I never really understood the hype. I had a few boyfriends who tried it with me but besides making out and the occasional bj to satisfy them I never went the full way. I thought I was a lesbian initially but quickly realised I find men attractive and have a romantic interest in them, not women.
Anyway, ever since I’ve turned 22 (8 months ago) I don’t recognise my body and thoughts. I’m constantly thinking about sex and I’m struggling (tmi sorry) with wetness and arousal 24/7. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve started watching porn to find the most vulgar rough sex I can find. I’m disgusted at what content I’ve found appealing because old me would have never watched it (I never watched porn before this). Masturbating doesn’t help either and I can go 4/5 times in the space of an hour, but because my fingers are small it really does nothing for me. I broke up with my ex a few months ago and I’m thinking of just contacting him again to see if he could help me. I feel like I might go crazy if I don’t do anything about it soon.
Is this normal? I feel like a teenager for the first time in my life. I can’t do work without thinking of sex. When I’m with my male friends I literally imagine the most fucked up shit when I never used to see them that way. I’m so confused because I was NEVER like this before. Do I need to get my hormones checked out? I’m scared that something is wrong because the change was so drastic. I went from 0 interest in sex to basically a dog in heat. I’m not enjoying it at all.
12 comments
Hormones are wonderful. It can be a roller coaster. Enjoy the ride!
Sounds like a bout of hyper sexuality? But went on for eight months?
Normal..
Just be safe. Use protection.
Try to find someone new. A friend or acquaintance that could be more like a friend with benefits
There is nothing wrong with having a sex drive, be safe though.
Asexuals get mad when people put forth the possibility that they might be late bloomers, but, well, you’re living proof that sometimes that’s what is going on.
[You’re basically getting all of puberty hormones condensed down into a much shorter period of time.](https://www.thisamericanlife.org/220/testosterone/act-two-1) It’s pretty rough, but generally survivable.
Talking to your doctor after sudden changes is generally a good idea, too, though.
if it’s negatively affecting your life, that means it’s a problem. look into hypersexuality, it can be caused by many things including medical/psychological conditions or medication side effects, or there might be something going on with your hormones etc. (or, it may just be a high libido that is yet to be satisfied in someone who hasn’t had sex yet!)
Something really similar happened to me around 20. I had friends talk about watching porn and feeling horny in their teens and I never understood the urge. I did discover erotica in my late teens and that awakened something but around 20 it got super intense. I remember not being able to focus in class and having such intense fantasies. I think it passed in less than a year though.
For some reason your just now going through what most teenagers do during puberty, it’s nothing to worry about I would say.
I’d suggest not doing it with your ex, that might make it unnecessary complicated/not enjoyable.
Rather look for a guy that you find attractive, but where you are certain he is a sweet guy that cares about your pleasure and not the macho type.
You probably shouldn’t try to get everything during your first time, get some good vanilla sex with a nice person and later you can try out all the hardcore/kink stuff you want.
Seeing a doctor wouldn’t be the worst idea. In the meantime, investing in some toys should help you reach some form of satisfaction much more easily than fingers.
I love it
That happened to me! At 21 I met this guy and now it’s the only thing I can think about all the time 🙁
Sounds to me the big issue is that it’s a major shift from how you “think you’re supposed to be”. The changes you are experiencing are normal despite being later in life. The porn you’re watching exists because many people enjoy it. I can’t speak for women, but this was basically par for the course among my guy friend group from aged 12-22. I’m casually seeing a girl who’s in a similar situation to you. She’s 21. Never thought about sex much if at all. Discovered masturbation just a few months ago, and is going like like a 14 yr old boy who just discovered his dick. She’s racking up kinks like collecting pokemon. It freaked her out at first but she was brought up with purity culture which I’m sure factors into her case. She’s now embraced it and is just happy to have a safe person to explore it with.