I feel like most of it is geared towards women, and heavily nitpicks how they should act to get a man to treat her right. Like if you want a masculine man to treat you right, you need to look a certain way, talk a certain way, etc..
Then I saw a video from a woman that she will never go on a date with a guy who asks her what she would like to do for the date. Maybe I’m different, but shouldn’t asking someone what they want to do be standard when figuring out first date plans? Especially if you were the one who asked them?
Then I saw another video about how relationships where women initiate lead to marriage, but because of the fact the man is passive and the woman is a leader. But when the woman wants to be passive and the man won’t step up, it leads into shambles.
To me, if someone doesn’t want to step up, that’s not about being in feminine or passive energy. That sounds like laziness and wanting to use someone. It has nothing to do with her initiating the relationship, but everything about the guy being lazy and not putting effort. If he was like that from the start, more than likely he’ll be like that. I also find this sentiment blames the woman for having a lazy partner.
Then there’s the argument that women shouldn’t lead because it gets tiring, but don’t men get tired too?
Then I get called a pickme. I’m sorry but I don’t think people should follow a rigid set of rules to be deserving of love. As long we’re good people, we deserve love.
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I’ve experienced that as well for me, where I will sometimes ask the other person if they have any favorite date ideas, so that I can have some ideas to ease into the first date where they will actually enjoy themselves ya know ? But this same person just kept saying..no I’m not doing any of the planning with the dates, that’s the guys job lol. Well let’s just say I gave up on jumping through hoops for people to want to meet me in person.
>Then there’s the argument that women shouldn’t lead because it gets tiring, but don’t men get tired too?
The more common argument I’ve seen for this is that it leads to the woman being undervalued. I’ve heard a lot of stories of women who made the first move on a man, the man accepts because it’s exciting to him to even have a woman pursuing him, but isn’t really into the woman and just goes along with it for the benefits of being in a relationship.
Not saying this is true or false, just something I’ve heard a lot from other women who experienced this.
You can find a videos telling you all sorts of opinions but the truth is that there are all kinds of people who work all kinds of ways.
You don’t need to follow some script or pretend to be something you are not just to appeal to some imaginary “type”.
It’s weird ngl
I think if you go into a relationship with the intention of winning it or the idea of holding yourself to a different standard than you hold your partner to, your probably going to have a miserable and short lived relationship
Masculine vs feminine is yin and yang. Most women want a confident, take charge, leading man. Be decisive, go for what you want, and women will be attracted to you.
People think women are only attracted to money and success. Money and success are generally biproducts of strong, confident people. THAT is what women are attracted to more than anything.
I embrace and enjoy my role as a masculine leader. And I very specifically look for feminine women. They provide the style and grace, I provide the strength and confidence. Yin and Yang.
100% I love this! It’s about treating each other with respect and being equals
P.s I hate dating advice in general why can’t we just be ourselves
This sounds like insane overthinking. The only energy you should focus on is the one you’re giving out and the one you’re receiving. If they don’t match move on. There are all kinds of people.. that game is so insanely washed out by now. Everybody knows about it and everybody fails at it, because it’s insane. It’s all everyone here ever posts about so I’m thinking the dating system (in the US) is structured into this insanely meta and overanalyzed language system.
Should a guy do this, should a girl do that. Red flags this. Everyone is just trying to justify their own insecurities and / or avoid taking responsibility for themselves. If you like someone, like them for who they are and make damn sure they like you for you. You can always be a better you, with higher energy that you give out and receive back in return. Insecurity is killing people in this subred. Everybody is projecting their own insecurities onto each other and hardly take responsibility.
As an NB male, gendered advice makes me sad. Dunno about others.
OP, I am with you completely. Pretty much every rule people have for dating and romance makes no sense to me, and it usually is based on arbitrary social ideas or on some poorly justified tradition we were raised to believe.
It works like this in my mind: two people meet, talk with one another, discover they have a good chemistry and like each other, and then through communication determine what relationship they would like, and continue that relationship through more communication. They fix issues as they arise, change the nature of the relationship as necessary, and build it through time and trust. What else matters? Who has masculine “energy” and who has feminine? Who initiates dates? Who is seen as the provider? Why does she date him? Why is he with him?
The answer is it doesn’t fucking matter, as long as it works for the two people in the relationship and both are capable of getting their needs met and communicating when they aren’t being met. Every other external aspect of a romantic (or even platonic) relationship is just arbitrary rules we are conditioned to believe by our unique upbringings and the traditions of our society. And tradition is just peer pressure from dead people anyhow.
I sound a bit demented perhaps, but I’m sick of all the rules too. So yeah, to answer your question, men get tired too. We can continue to worry about being tall enough, or cool enough, or skinny enough, or fit enough to meet some requirement that not everyone even believes in. Our influencers can keep inventing new language to express these nonsensical rules as the new rage of the day, or we can just talk to one another and figure shit out.
Every successful relationship I’ve been a part of or seen has only happened when two people meet, talk, and build something on their own, of their own design and fitted to their own needs, as individuals each and as a couple. Anything less is bound to fail in a world as fast-moving and harsh as this. Sorry for the rant, all of this is to say I agree and it is exhausting.
TL, DR; Dating rules are arbitrary, unhealthy, and unhelpful. Communication and patience are key.