Idk why post was removed I repost again
TL;DR
I’m (21f ) my husband (24m). We got married 3 months ago and we were in long distance relationship for 2years and still in ldr . I’m from Iran and he is from uk. These are some facts and not excuses :
I’ve never had my family support in anything and also they were not educated but they are religious with old beliefs
And I don’t have much friends , they’re less then 7 people and my very close friends were 3 and also I can’t trust people easy at all . I used to hate sex or even watch porn for more than 2-3 years and all of my friends knew about it. Also I never had much information about it . And my country was like they don’t give any info about it like other countries in schools or anything .
Now the problem is :
When ever I face problems even about family or personal things I used to trust a lot one of my guy friends who I know him about 5 years and trust him a lot and he was always helpful in any situation for me and give advice to me and try to be help .
After my first meet with my husband we were in ldr again and been a long time since we last meet and again I felt less confident in everything and also I was trying to learn more to be better in bed ! I asked for some advise from my guy friend he told me before sex me and my husband should do some test about health and what kind of protection , just giving some ideas and also about sex he told me he can’t help me much and I should just wait till it happen but I can watch porn and learn
So he just send me some random links I couldn’t open them because I needed vpn and internet was always shit in Iran so he forward for me the videos from telegram bots
I can promise I didn’t even download some of them and left it .
And our conversation finished
This chat was before my marriage
2 weeks after my marriage while I was with my husband in hotel
One night he go through my phone when I’m sleep and check every chat that I’ve been having with my friends
My password is his finger print I did it myself because I never had any problems about it or if he check my phone or not
So he checked the phone and he was thinking I was cheating on him and tomorrow he was feeling so bad and I explained him every single thing and truth
And we had long conversation
I said sorry and he forgive me too
And that time I asked him if he has any serious problems with my guy friend I can just end the relationship and stop talking to him ,
My husband said it’s ok
Talk to him but have your own red flags and I did !
We never talked about anything this personal again at all
After that time
Me and my guy friend only talked three times about random stuff and last time I send him a girl pic to ask his idea about it
He was a boy I wanted to know what can be attractive to him and in boys idea
Also I send it to my girls friends too but they keep saying jokes about the pic
You know how some girls are anyway
He talked about the girl makeup and said , so much make up doesn’t suits her and compared me and my makeup as an example to tell me his idea about it
Later I was talking on the phone with my husband and as usual we were talking about how we spend our day
And I told him the stories too
As soon as he heard my guy friend name he said he hate this guy and why I’m still talking to him and Later in all his texts
He mentioned I’m cheating and I’m cheater . I was hurt and lost and shocked
He hang the phone on me and reject all my calls
And still he keeps saying I was cheating on him
I really don’t like to hear these words from him and it’s so painful
Everyone and my friends knows that how much I love my husband and everywhere is our pictures even in my own channel
And my friends are also so happy about my marriage
I’ve never ever thought about cheating or even telling him simple lie
But after this story that happened he keeps saying he can’t trust anymore and I’m cheater and my action was cheating and he don’t want to stay in relationship anymore
I love him so much
I knew it was wrong to ask a guy for personal things advice
But also I didn’t have anyone who have experience who can help me about it
I love my husband a lot and In these 3 days I’m just so sad and crying all the time.
Question is :
How can I have his trust back?
I love him and I don’t want to end my relationship
But I’m so annoyed and sad about his words and can’t forgive him.
Thanks for reading and advise