Not sure if this is the right place to ask for advice, but I am naturally a quiet and introverted person. When I have thoughts, it doesn’t necessarily occur to me to share them when I’m in conversation with someone, and I never know how to keep a conversation going. But when I try and pressure myself to speak, it’s like my mind goes blank. It tends to impact my relationships and people that I try to get close with, because they can’t get close to me. Does anyone have any tips on how I can be more extroverted/talkative/engaging?
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When in doubt, ask a question. Just focus on the last thing said in a conversation, even if it was something boring like, “I’m headed to the gym after work.” Try to find something to ask based on that: “What do you listen to when you work out?” “Have you ever tried the office park gym?” “Do they offer classes or is it just individual workouts?” Or whatever you can think of.
I have a friend who is amazingly good at this. I once saw her probe a very dull-seeming coworker with questions like, what do you do for fun?? Photography? Oh that’s cool, like what kind? *Nature* photography?!? Wow, like wild animals?
Turned out this chick set up her tripod in front of the tv and took photos of animals on Planet Earth. We still laugh about it to this day. People are surprising.
Are you literally me? It happens to me all the time where my brain is really active during a conversation where I have responses and thoughts and even clever quips in my head, but I’m just plain quiet and unresponsive on the outside. I’ve really outta rewire the breaker!