We’ve got a son who is three and she’s pregnant. Baby is due in about 3 weeks so she’s pretty far along. My mom is very involved in our son’s life. He often spends the day or a weekend with her but my girlfriend wants this to come to a stop. The reason being is that she wants to spend a lot of time with him while he was still an only child, and if she wasn’t with him all day, I’d understand, but she is with him ALL day. She’s not working right now so she’s always with him. When she goes out to do her own stuff while I’m working, her family members watch him. But when it’s my mom it’s a problem?
I’ll give you another reason why I know that this is a BS reason. We will not be in town from Friday-Sunday. I said that since my mom hasn’t gotten to spend any time with him lately, she and then she said I’m not talking about this again. She has no problem with her family members watching him but when it comes to my mom it’s an automatic no. He is not only her son, he is also my son.
I’m off tomorrow and I said that I’m taking him to my mom’s house. She said no I’m not, but I said yeah, I am. She’s not gonna just “ban” my mom from seeing him due to feelings. I feel like this request is completely ridiculous. I would understand if there was a valid reason like my mom was unsafe or something, but what has my mom done that would deem her unsafe? She’s been an active part of his life since Day 1. She was always watching over him when we were both working, but now it’s a no just because they don’t like each other.
10 comments
You’re right that he is your son, just as much as hers. It seems like she’s trying to mama bear you into submission. I have to admit that I was on her side until you brought up the stuff about her family being able to watch your son. I think you need to try and calmly ask her why she is trying to remove your mom from your son’s life.
Your girlfriend is heavily pregnant and is in protective momma bear mode, she’s baked two of your children, maybe you just respect how she’s feeling right now and don’t cause her unnecessary stress.
It may seem irrational to you, heck it may be irrational full stop but don’t pick battles with her.
What is her reason? What happened?
Seems like there is a lot of information missing here. But from what you have said, your partner seems to think that she can somehow separate your family from your mother. She is just starting with your son. Soon it will be your new born baby and finally you. That seems to be her plan. Is she doing the right thing? We can’t tell because we don’t actually know why the two women dislike each other.
Has your mother ever insulted her? Has your mother said things about her parenting style? There must be a good reason that they dislike each other. The only question would be whether whatever happened between them justifies cutting your mother off. So while you may think her request is ridiculous, we can’t help because we have no way to judge things we do not know.
Smells like missing missing reasons in here
I think you need to take a step back and realize that you may be the father of her child and her unborn child, but you are NOT her husband. Which makes her a single Mom. If you keep pressing her, the result may be that she decides your relationship is over, and then where will you be? It’s good to think about the possible consequences of your actions.
If she wants to pull my kid doesn’t see your mom, then you tell her the same.
She needs to look at the issue here and it sounds like GF likes to be the toxic one. Her family doesn’t like you and you don’t hold her or you child from them, she needs to see the whole picture.
Also, her and your mom need to talk, not good for GF to just cut out your mom and at the same time not defend you to her family. You are fine with her taking the kids to her family, she needs to do the same.
Dude, start working out that custody agreement now…
So. What did your mom do/say that youre oh so conveniently leaving out of this little tale?
She has to vocalize a legitimate issue or your mom gets to see the kid regularly. If she can’t share it with you, it must not be that important, as it’s your child too.