My girlfriend (31 F) has lived her entire life at her parents house and has never lived on her own. She is extremely close with her family and says she never wants to ever leave the place in Ohio where she has grown up. I, on the other hand, find Ohio very boring and way too cold. I want to live somewhere down south for the opportunities and better weather. I even made a concession and said we can live in Ohio for many years and then we could move away to another place where I would want to live to both get what we want (partly). She still says no, she wants to die in Ohio because she always wants to be right there for family even though I told her I would personally pay for a flight for her to see family when she wanted to if we moved. I’m trying to be as reasonable as possible but she won’t budge. This has caused a lot of stress for us as well as her lack of independence (her parents do quite a bit for her while she lives at home such as cook dinner and buy groceries). It sucks because we have tons of chemistry and attraction towards one another and I do love her very much. What is advised in this situation and could this just be a lost cause? Thanks for the advice.
TLDR: I love my girlfriend but we may be too different?
2 comments
I feel the same way as your girlfriend and actually this conversation has come up with a lot of people for me. You want two different things. There is no compromise here. You absolutely want to leave. She absolutely does not. No amount of visits to her family will make her feel better about leaving, and you likely won’t be happy staying in Ohio forever.
For the plan of staying there for a while and leaving later, I feel like that will cause a lot of resentment for both of you. Later may never come. You may get to the point that you planned to leave just for her to decide she wants to stay.
You are incompatible.
There is no compromise between “I absolutely will never move from Ohio and “I absolutely have to move from Ohio.”